LIVE IT UP || CONNOR

[CONNOR SELWYN]

[style=width: 399px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: #000; line-height: 85%; text-transform: uppercase; padding-top: 8px;]it's a steel knife in my windpipe

She fucking hates me and I love it

connor would never admit that, when he heard the man growl those words that his partner was about to fuck eli, he almost shot the man through the head. he would have, and it took all of his strength not to, if he didn't need a witness. ultimately, sending a message back to whoever was controlling those dogs would further his means more than killing all of them.

but oh, how he wanted to.

it wasn't that eli belonged to him. she didn't. at least not in that way. they had an agreement, they used each other for sex, but they weren't dating by any means. and she wasn't one of his playthings like the other women he fucked, that much was clear to both of them. but when his mind flitted over any other man having her in that way, a rage built up within him he couldn't process in the state he was in. he was in battle mode, and his mind didn't process emotional depth when he was like that. all he saw was the task at hand, and other things got pushed aside.

he went to eli's side, asked her if she could stand, and then as she fumbled to stand he realized she really couldn't. she wouldn't admit it, and she was probably too dazed to know if she was or not, so he held her tighter although he knew her injuries were far worse now than before. "I guess...this means I a-actually have to go to the doctor?" she asked, her voice heavy with pain and the drowsiness from it. connor smiled and shook his head. "you're so damn stubborn. it takes you being half-dead to listen to me," he muttered, this time jokingly. he half-drug her to the car and helped her open the door before lowering her gently into the passenger's seat. connor selwyn was never gentle. it wasn't easy for him, but, for the first time, he needed to save someone instead of kill them. it was a strange sensation for him, and a first, but he would take it on like everything else in his life.

hurrying to the other side, knowing eli was hurt far worse than he could help her with this time, he jumped into the driver's seat and cranked the car. "You think this time...you could hurry?" she asked, her voice cracking and almost failing as he listened. he cringed at the sound of it, hating that audible sound of weakness in a person he'd never viewed as weak. yes, she was a woman, and he inherently viewed her differently from men because of his upbringing and his experiences, but she was still eli. she was the strongest woman, and one of the best soldiers, he'd ever fought with. as he threw the car into reverse and stamped the gas, the tires whined and screeched as they fought to grip the pavement. braking, he tossed it into drive and glanced over at her. "trust me, that won't be a problem."

the car peeled out of the parking lot and disappeared into the darkness, headed for the mansion where he knew flynn would be. he glanced over at her as her head lolled into the seat. "eli... eli! stay with me," he reached over and shook her shoulder, patting her cheek and getting her blood on his hand but not caring. turning the air conditioner on even though it was still spring and was no where near hot enough to need it, he turned it up full blast and all the way as cold as it would go. the cold would hopefully keep her awake, and it would help her to stop bleeding as much as well. he'd had enough field medicine training to know that as well. glancing over at her, more worried than he'd intended but glad she was too out of it to notice, he growled and stamped harder on the gas. "if you die on me, so help me, i will kill you."

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[eli byrne]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 842 ( TAGGED ) CONNOR ( STATUS ) COMPLETE Eli had never been in this much pain before. Sure, she had been shot but that was different. That was a pain that she had been able to handle, that was a pain she was used to. The pain she had felt when she was captured while in the marines could mirror this for sure, but this was something different. Her insides felt like they were being ripped from the inside out, and the burning sensation would not cease no matter what position she got herself into. She was sure that having sex with Connor hadn't been the best of ideas, but she didn't regret that now. That had been the only pleasurable aspect of this evening and she would not hate him or herself for that. Groaning as he came over to her and tightened his hold around her slim waist, she felt as if her body was too heavy to keep up. She was of course too stubborn and too defiant to allow him to see her at this weakened state. She would have no choice soon enough, but her fighting spirit was not letting her quit at the moment. She was physically spent and exhausted but she would not fail. She wouldn't die. Then Jett wouldn't have anyone and then he'd lose it completely. She was the only one who could deal with him at his worst and she didn't want to be the one responsible for him losing the rest of his sanity. She wouldn't do that to him. Focusing back on the now, she cringed as he helped her get into the seat of the car. On the way to the car it was then that she realized what he was saying to her. She heard him as if he was far away, for his voice sounded like it was echoing around her mind. Furrowing her brow at the effort of trying to focus on what he was saying, she swayed suddenly, falling into him without meaning to. Angry at herself for showing such weakness, she nearly pushed herself away from him, her hand pushing against his steady side to try and right herself. Normally she would have succeeded, but in her state she only managed to push and have no result. To him it might have seemed like she was just steadying herself because of the lack of pressure in that push. Grumbling to herself, she realized what he had said. A grin appeared on her face as she realized he was joking, and in her incoherent state she uttered words that she would have never said if she was alright. "Yeah, but you love me anyway. You love the challenge." Her words sounded strange even to her, but she didn't question it because of the pain she was smiling through. As they finally reached his vehicle, she let him help her sit simply because she would have collapsed if she didn't. Settling into the seat, she realized that she was bleeding everywhere. It was a good thing he had a leather interior but this was not what she wanted to be doing. Her blue eyes fought to focus and she looked down at her leg as if it didn't belong to her. "That's...a lot of blood. I'm sorry." Her tone was emotionless and a bit eerie as she just sat and stared at her bleeding appendage. It was as if she was just watching and not seeing anything. She wasn't the one experiencing this pain. Her head smacked back against the seat as she fought the dizziness overwhelming her and even that didn't register in her mind. Closing her eyes, she felt sick to her stomach. As Connor backed the car up, asking her to trust her that speed wouldn't be an issue, her eyes flew open and some of her spark returned, although her face was becoming more and more pale with each passing second. "Hey. Selwyn. Fast, not reckless. I don't want to die." She said, her last sentence holding more meaning than either of them would ever know. She didn't want to die. But it wasn't going to be from Connor's driving. Something was seriously wrong. She was a soldier, a fighter. And for her to be succumbing to her injuries meant a lot. She sank back into the seat now, breathing a sigh of relief as he started going straight and fast. She was beginning to drift off, but then she heard his words and felt his touch. He smacked her face and she barely jumped awake, her words muffled and mumbled. "I'm here..." It was breathless and almost silent. Her face was a frightening pale color and her skin was icy to touch. Her teeth began chattering because of the cold he had started blasting, but it served its purpose. Her eyelids fluttered, and she managed a defiant statement through her chattering teeth. "Fuck, it's cold. Connor...turn it off." She ordered, but she knew he wouldn't listen. Trying to sit up, she only failed and slammed back into the seat. Gods, she felt awful. sorry it sucks. didn't know what else to do!

table by CALIFORNIA DREAMING of CAUTION 2.0, lyrics by maroon 5

[CONNOR SELWYN]

[style=width: 399px; font-family: georgia; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: #000; line-height: 85%; text-transform: uppercase; padding-top: 8px;]it's a steel knife in my windpipe

She fucking hates me and I love it

"Yeah, but you love me anyway. You love the challenge." connor smiled at her words simply because she couldn't see his face as he half-carried her to the car. despite their differences, he and eli were very similar. they had hated each other, although mostly in silence, for a long time, and that was simply because eli hated his lifestyle. most of the women who lived in the irish compound, the ones who weren't power hungry, hated connor because he characteristically belittled and demeaned women. he didn't believe in love, and he treated women like trinkets instead of people. it was all true, and he never blamed them; he just didn't care. still, eli was right. he did enjoy a challenge. as far as loving her, that was another matter entirely.

in typical eli fashion, she griped at him as he sped out of the parking lot, and he rolled his eyes as he turned the a/c down in temperature. "i know it's cold," he retorted simply, "quit dozing off, and we can turn it off." speeding through the countryside, he turned onto the seemingly deserted drive that led through a small canyon and up a hill to the hilltop where the mansion rested among the smaller houses of the compound around it. the lights of the house came into view, and connor's heart leapt with victory as he glanced over at eli. she fidgeted and blood had begun drying on her face and clothes, and his brow drew down in consternation. he would not let her die. he'd seen too many soldiers die because of him, and eli... she would not be one of them.

parking the car the moment he reached the main paved area in front of the house, he honked the horn a few times and then leapt from the car. remembering his bare chest, he thought quickly and pulled off his jacket as he came around to eli's side of the car. as he opened the car door, he realized she had dozed off as the cold air began to fade out of the car. "no, no, no!" he muttered, grabbing her and pulling her out of the car into his arms. dropping the duster onto the ground, he quickly laid her on it and reached into the car to put his ruined shirt on the puddle of blood on the car floor. although it seemed trivial, he knew she would appreciate the small effort to cover up their deeds from before the attack. if she made it through this...

no, he couldn't think like that. falling back onto his knees beside her, he pulled her head up into his lap and smacked her face to try to wake her up. "wake up, eli. wake up, damn it!" he cursed at her as her head lolled in his lap. "where the fuck is everyone?!" he cried, anger rising in his voice. he looked back down at her, her blond hair matted with the blood, and red discoloring her beautiful face. to most men, she would be the farthest from beautiful in her current condition, partially unconscious in his lap, but connor couldn't help but admire her. he was not most men. leaning down over her, he listened for her breathing and heard it coming, faintly and weakly but there. as his face hovered near hers, he clenched his teeth and his fist tightened around her hair, not hurting her but twisting the strands in his blood-soaked fingers. "don't do this...don't die on me, damn it. jett will kill me..." he said, choking out a laugh as he realized he didn't want her to die simply because he didn't want to imagine that world. he may not be eli's favorite person, but she was right: she presented a challenge to him. he liked a challenge. "you can't let me off that easy," he joked, knowing she probably wouldn't ever hear him say it. realizing that, he looked down at her beautiful face and impulsively leaned down and kissed her. pulling back slightly, he whispered, "i think... i don't know... i don't believe in love, but... damn it, i don't want to live without you. so wake up."

sitting up just in time to hear the front door of the mansion swing open, he glared over at flynn who came hurrying out after retrieving his emergency med bag from where he had it hidden near the front door. behind him was lennox, followed by jett whose eyes widened at the grisly sight on the driveway. "what the FUCK happened to her?!" he asked, his voice one pitch away from losing it as he rushed to the other side of eli, slamming the passenger door of the car with his shoulder in his haste. the pain that must have caused never even phased him as he reached for eli, pulling her out of connor's arms. no one asked why connor had on no shirt, and he knew they wouldn't. they would never think a thing about it. so they were safe there. now she just had to live so it mattered. as jett began fussing over his sister and flynn tried to get him to back off so the doctor could begin his prep work, connor stood and headed for the door where his brothers stood. "aye," lennox spoke, grabbing connor's arm. the touch stunned him since lennox very seldom touched his older brother if at all possible, much less began a conversation with him. stunned and confuddled by the day and night's activities, connor paused and looked blankly at his younger sibling. "are you alright?" lennox asked, concern in his eyes as was typical of him. connor, remembering himself, pulled his arm from lennox's grasp and glanced briefly at asher before starting off into the house. "of course i am. i'm not the one dying on the driveway." with that, he left them behind to find a bottle of alcohol to console himself until he heard news that eli would be okay.

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