., bulletproof

[affy]

--------- “ fuck. ” she muttered under her breath, as for the fifth time in the last ten minutes she stuck the pin into her finger instead of the fabric, “ fuck, fuck, fuck.” she added, her voice growing louder and more impatient with every repetition. Straightening she let her gaze trail up to the ceiling, as she drew in what was meant to be a calming breath. It didn’t help. Pinning as a whole, she found beyond frustrating, though partly that was her own fault, she was overly ambitious with her designing, trying to pull off techniques that she clearly outside her limited skill set Sewing wasn’t much better, sewing machines seemed to hate her, and she was forever breaking needles. If she wasn’t such a stubborn person she probably would have just quit already, cut her losses, try something else. She’d come close to it so many times, but then there was her dads voice in her ear, and his face when she’d declared she was changing her major to fashion design, she would not give him the satisfaction of being right. She wasn’t completely hopeless though. When it came to the actual designing, she was actually really good, her teachers rarely had many criticisms regarding her sketches. It was only when it came to transferring that idea onto fabric that she ran into trouble. And it grated. Madison hated being second rate at anything, she was competitive by nature, and it had only gotten worse over the years. Failure was not an option. Ever.

---------however, for once, it was not trying to pin the ridiculously slippery satin that she was working with that had her in such a foul mood, though it was hardly helping. It was the text that she received from Noah. She had always regarded him as an idiot, but that text right there.. probably the stupidest thing he’d ever asked her. Why on earth would he think she'd ever want to tell Allison what they’d done? What good would that do? Besides easing the guilt that bubbled up in her stomach far too often, but she deserved to feel that, she wasn’t about to hurt her friend any more than she already had just so she could have some slight reprieve. However, telling her would definitely put a damper on that assholes plans to worm his way back into alys life. Definitely tempting. To say that she disliked Noah Constantino was the understatement of the century, because as much as she had loved little Johnny, she still resented him for getting aly pregnant and messing up everything. Which made it all that more unbelievable that she, of all people, had been the one that he’d ended up cheating with.

---------running a hand though her loose curls as a fresh wave of anger pulled through her she reached for her phone, a frown creasing her pretty face as she typed up reply and pressed send. Swearing indiscriminately under her breath in Russian she stood up, took one last discontented look at the dress on the mannequin and reached for her handbag. There was no point continuing right now, she was not in the right frame of mind, and she was supposed to be meeting Johnny in and hour for dinner, and she wasn’t one for being late. Unlocking her front door she dumped everything by the door and headed for her bedroom, throwing open her closet doors she glanced over at the bathroom, chewing on her lip as she deliberated over whether a nice hot shower was worth having to turn up at johnnys place with damp hair, she definitely wasn’t going to have time to dry it afterward. Shrugging she headed for the shower, stripping as she walked. Half and hour she was standing in from of the mirror carefully reapplying her makeup, before returning to her bedroom to get dressed. Wiggling her way into a clingy white dress, she glanced at herself briefly in the mirror before pulling a pair of gold heels from the shelf. It was probably a little dressy for a simple dinner between fiends, but she’d gotten in the habit since she started modeling of never leaving her house looking anything less than perfect. Stopping briefly in the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, and again in the hall to collect her handbag she headed for her car.

---------she was knocking on the door with a few minutes to spare, a bright smile pulling across her lips as the door swung open, “ I thought I should make at least some contribution… ” she said, holding up the bottle and chuckling lightly, her smile dimming slightly as she took in the expression on his face, there was something off… the smile almost seemed forced, tilting her head slightly to one side her brows tapered, “ you okay? ”

roleplaying with, johnny / jessie
listening to, rumor has it, adele.
rocking these threads, something like this
dear jessie, yeahhh, i kind of fail at starting threads. nbd. also i wasnt sure where they lived, so i hope i posted it in the right place.

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[johnny]

Dumping the box of pasta into the boiling water, his blue eyes slid to the sliced bread next to it. Cooking had always been a secret passion of his and he was rather good at it considering his whole family was Italian. He quickly put some spices on the bread, before sticking it into the oven, hoping the garlic bread would come out more like bread than burnt crust. For some reason, Johnny had always had difficult time making bread. He could cook an amazing pie, cannoli, steak, etc., but he could never perfect the art of cooking bread. Even toast, it seemed, came out too burnt for his taste. His cooking talent didn’t really matter tonight, he knew, and he knew his real assignment now. It was up to him, it seemed, to find out if Mady and Noah had slept together, and he didn’t even know if he wanted to be honest with his sister if he found out the truth. It would kill Ali, and he knew that it would, therefore, kill him. She had been through too much the last couple of years and this was the icing on the cake. All he wanted was for that asshole to be out of the Giancola’s lives forever, but Noah just wouldn’t disappear. Instead, he had to create more drama then it was worth and it killed him. Ali deserved way better than what was going on, they all knew that.

Just the idea that Mady had possibly slept with Noah made his insides churn. Whether she knew it or not, he had always had a soft spot for her. Recently he had come to terms with the idea that maybe he was in love with Mady in something less than a brotherly way and more of a romantic way. But he wasn’t sure; and if she had committed the deed, there was no way Johnny was going to be in love with her. While he pushed the envelope, she had taken it too far. Stirring the pasta, he glanced at the other pot, filled with homemade tomato sauce. Quickly stirring that, he sniffed himself and flinched at the smell. Perhaps, he thought, something other than this old work out outfit would be good to wear. He had showered earlier, but this shirt had a very distinct smell. Taking a quick glance at the food, he scurried to his bedroom, quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt before turning around and making his way back to the kitchen. Burt sauce was not good, he knew from experience. Johnny hadn’t just come out of the womb knowing how to cook; it was a learning experience.

Quickly straining the pasta, he moved the sauce off the burner and began the preparation. The pasta made its way into two bowls; sauce drizzled on top, basil outlining the edges and a bowl of salad for the two of them. He quickly placed the food onto the table before grabbing dressing and the bread. Of course there was some burnt edges, but it was certainly not the worst he had made. Johnny heard a knock on the door and he placed a smile on his lips as he opened the door, the smile faltering for a moment as he took in Mad’s appearance. His boyish crush suddenly appeared and he found himself breathless for a moment, giving her a reason to be concerned. No, she couldn’t have slept with Noah. ”Nah, just a little tired from work and such. Thanks for the wine, its perfect” he said, giving her a smile and ushering her inside the apartment. His hand brushed the small of her back and he felt chills, wanting to hold her.

All this was was a boyish crush. There was no other explanation. Johnny remembered her from when she was a little menace: there was no reason for that to change. ”Glad you see you. It’s been a while.” he mentioned, shooting a smile in her direction. Taking the wine, he popped the cork and poured a little into the glasses on the table. ”Dinner is served, madam. Hope you’re hungry; I made something special for desert.”

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[affy]

------ "he knows had been her first thought as she studied the expression on his face, and she felt a fresh wave of guilt drape over her, her shoulders sinking a little under the invisible weight as her heart started to race, beating so loud in her chest she was sure he would be able to hear it. But then he’d smiled, assuring her that he was merely tired, before moving to the left of the doorway so she could come in. Part of her really wanted to slap him right then, for freaking her out like that, even though it had been unconsciously done, but since he would have no idea what on earth she was hitting him for she refrained, opting instead for tugging on a lock of his hair as she stepped through the door. She wasn’t normally that paranoid, save the first month or so after that night, where she’d lived in constant fear that at any moment she’d get an angry phone call or her best friend herself storming into the house, ready to tear her hair out. Not that aly would ever react like that, it was mady who was the one who had a tendency toward such extremes. She was more likely to just shut her out completely, like she had noah after she’d caught him, but Madison had always been a little melodramatic. After a couple of months however it had began to ebb, noah had amazingly kept his mouth shut for once, and she still had her best friend.

------"knowing that noah was in town though, brought all that paranoia back to the surface. He was impulsive and had a temper, like her, one of the reasons they’d never been able to get along, and she didn’t fully trust that he had enough self control to keep his mouth shut, especially if he saw aly out with this guy she’d been telling her about from the bar. Which, if he hung around like he said, he undoubtedly would at some point, it wasn’t a big place. Still, there was no point worrying about it now, tonight was about relaxing and catching up with Johnny, she wasn’t about to let that asshole taint it if she could help it. Mentally shaking herself she glanced around, a smile slipping across her face at the all too familiar smell of tomato and herbs that filled the apartment. It felt just like walking into the giancola family home back in new jersey, or her real home as she had often called it, they had felt like more like her family than her own had ever done, so it seemed appropriate. At his words she glanced back at him, “ it really has. ” she agreed, offering a smile, she was glad when he had decided to come out to california too, she’d missed him almost as much as she had aly, “ ive missed.. your cooking.” she teased, very maturely poking her tongue out at him, something about him always brought out a softer side of her, the side of her that a select few ever go to see, that most would doubt even existed.

------ "a Madison that wasn’t a total bitch.

------ "picking up her glass, she downed the contents in one go and set it back on the table, a sheepish smile tugging at her lips as she glanced up at his querying expression, “ not a reflection on you, I promise. Its just… ” she paused and shook her head, halting herself before she said too much, she wasn’t about to rehash the events of earlier, she couldn’t, as much as she wanted to. Which was unusual for her, she’d always been a very closed off person, letting people in was something she’d never really gotten the hang of. But Johnny was one of the few exceptions to this, aly being the other. But this was one secret she couldn’t unload on either of them. “ so something special huh?” she asked, rousing a smile as she took a seat, her gaze sweeping across the all the food he’d prepared, before settling back on his face, “ your seriously going to have to teach me how to cook like this… otherwise I’m going to have no other choice but move in.” she told him, expression playful, “ seriously, its just unfair” she added, pouting slightly.

roleplaying with, johnny / jessie
listening to, only wanna give it to you, elle varner.
rocking these threads, something like this
dear jessie, sorry for wait. works been killer.

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[johnny]

He knew everything and it was killing him inside and out. Not only had he been on edge since his sister’s phone call, resulting in the hole in wall in his bedroom, but he had also called out from work the other day. His coworkers, of course, had thought he was deathly ill; Johnny loved his work. But as he forced a smile, he realized that he could never stay mad at the woman in front of him. She was beautiful, motivated, confident and perfect. It was tearing Aly apart, but here he was, inviting the prettiest girl into his house. Johnny could never say no to her. He could blame it on her spending so much time with him and his family, but it would only be a lie. There were feelings he refused to admit aloud towards her, and he knew she would never feel the same. Mady was perfect, and he was living on a small salary in an apartment building surrounded by an old loud couple and a crying baby. There was nothing romantic or perfect about him and the people around him. Johnny was average, and Mady, she was everything but. As he led her into the kitchen, he smiled to himself. Everything was perfect. It brought pain to him, though, knowing this was the exact set up at his own house thousands of miles away. He could practically hear his mother screeching about something silly, like his older brother not wiping his feet before entering the house. It was his family, and there was nothing else he loved more.

A chuckle escaped his lips as she poked his tongue at him. He returned the gesture, before rolling his eyes. ”I figured as much. You’re probably starving to death at your own apartment. Either that or living on take-out, neither of which are ideal,” he teased, nudging her with his foot as he sat down across from her. Johnny brought the wine to his lips and took a sip, commending her on her choice of wine. She knew her wine well, he assumed, or perhaps she had just picked the bottle randomly. He looked at her, wondering what exactly was going through her mind. The look on her face made him know that she was holding a secret, and while he hoped the secret he was holding was not the one she was hiding; he couldn’t help but be confused. Here was the girl he had grown up with, and she had perhaps done the worse thing possible. He would forever doubt the rumor his sister had said, until Mady proved it true. Their friendship was too beautiful to be destroyed by that man.

”I’ve offered you cooking classes in the past, but someone is too stubborn,” he teased, taking a bite of the cooked pasta. The fresh herbs bursted on his tongue and he once again felt the pain of missing him. It would be better when he was used to living far away and on his own, but at the beginning, it was hard. Giving her a suggestive smile, he winked. ”You can always share my bed, darling. It’s big enough for the both of us” it was, and he secretly wanted her to move in, but he bit back the words. She was hiding a secret, and therefore, he would hide one too. Both were dangerous and could harm all parties, he was sure, but that did not make it any easier to hold back. Mady was his best friend and Johnny could tell her anything, and vice versa, or almost everything. Everything but his true feelings of attractiveness.

”Have you been busy designing clothes for those snotty rich people that live here?” he asked, not trying to sound too mean about the rich bastards that lived over the hill and refused to hire him. The men worried that he would sleep with their wives, considering he was attractive, and he had yet to find someone to train under the age of forty three. Had he known it was bad to be so attractive, Johnny would have become a chef or teacher instead of a trainer.

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[affy]

Despite his smile, she couldn’t help but feel tense, like at any moment everything was going to crumble around her. She was probably overreacting, she knew, after all, it had been years and no one found out, but still she couldn’t help but feel edgy.,, she tried to push it down as best she could, not let it leak onto her face, but she knew she probably wasn’t covering it all. Especially around Johnny, he always seemed to be extra perceptive when it came to her, noticing shifts in her mood that anyone else would miss. Which certainly had made things difficult when it came to hiding this big secret from him, he had a certain knack for pulling things out of he, things she hadn’t told anyone else. Save aly. Though even then, there were some things that even she didn’t know. Which made it all the more amazing that she’d managed to keep this from him for so long, moving out to California had certainly helped that, if she’d stuck around it probably would have been different. Still, he was going to find out, one way or another, and he would hate her. She knew he would. He might have been more forgiving than most, but this, it was by far the worst thing she’d done in her twenty one years, and she really doubted whether he’d be able to get past it. Not that she could blame him if he couldn’t. She might have been like family to him, but aly was family, and while they were close, him and aly were closer still. There was no question which side his loyalties lied. She was his sister after all.

As he rolled his eyes she merely grinned,“ that, my friend is what dinner dates are for… your not the only man ive sweet talked into cooking for me you know. ” she teased, green eyes glimmering with amusement, “ dating a chef works pretty well too.” she added after a moment, leaning back in her chair a little, “ the last one made the best waffles, oh my god…” just thinking about them made her mouth water, “ but, he was hopeless in bed, so he had to go…” she said simply, giving a slightly wistful sigh before picking up her fork and turning her attention to the delicious looking pasta in front of her. His words made her wrinkle her nose a touch, “ I know you couldn’t possibly be talking about me…” she answered, shaking her head, before offering him a wide grin, “ okay, so maybe im a little stubborn… ” she added after a moment, relenting. a little stubborn was definitely an understatement, she practically epitomized the word. When she thought she was right, she wouldn’t back down. To his offer she raised a brow, “careful. I might just take you up on that… ” she taunted grinning, “I mean, I do prefer having someone to snuggle with..” she began, her expression mock thoughtful, “ but I also like to sleep naked, would that be a problem?” she asked, only managing to keep her face straight for a few moments before grinning widely.

Catching the slight edge of his words she arched a brow, mouth pulling slowly into coy smile, “ someones got to do it, right? ” she offered, giving a slight shrug, dropping her gaze to the plate in front of her for a moment, “ honestly Im not designing for anyone but me… ” she added, a flicker of defiance in her green eyes as looked up at him again. she’d spent so much of her life trying to please other people, or really, trying to please her father, she had suppressed her own passions in order to follow his. Until now. Finally she was going after what she wanted, despite her father’s firm assurances that she would surely fail, assurances that only made her more determined to prove him wrong. “ but what about you? Surely you’ve got the cougars all lining up for some one on one time with the sexy new trainer in town..” she teased, biting lightly on her lip as she looked him over. “ after this, I might just have to join them, carbs like to go straight to my ass..”

roleplaying with, johnny / jessie
listening to, only wanna give it to you, elle varner.
rocking these threads, something like this
dear jessie, fifty years late.. sorry <3

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[johnny]

Everything was going wrong and he didn’t know why. His heart was beating too fast in his chest ad he knew that at any given moment he would blurt out every thought that was running through his mind. It wasn’t fair. It really wasn’t. Mady had no right to keep all of this from him and because she did, Johnny knew he would never be able to trust her. Well, if she did what was being told? Perhaps Noah was just lying in order to capture the heart of his younger sister. Maybe there was a master plan behind everything and he knew that there had to be another explanation. He hoped anyway. The Mady Johnny knew would never hurt her friends, would never do anything this stupid, but deep down, he knew she could. Noah was seductive and with a few drinks, probably seemed like the best decision of the night. He sighed inwardly and was about to ask the threatening question when she began spitting out comments, a small smile teasing her lips. Was she as tense as he was? Probably not. She probably thought he was tired and busy with work instead of thinking about everything else. For the first time in his life, Johnny understood what it was like to be able to hate someone. There was no one he hated more then Noah, who had put them in this situation. Had that thing stayed out of all of their lives, little Johnny would have never been born and his sister would have never been ripped to pieces.

Johnny had loved his nephew, but hated the way he came. He had supported his sister and had been there but knew that everything was wrong. He heard his parents arguing about it all the time and wondered if by sticking up for his sister and following her across the country, that he had chosen sides. The blond had never wanted to. He had just wanted to be a good brother and protect his younger sister from all the bad people. Sure, he couldn’t always be there, but he could try, and that was all that mattered. There weren’t many people that he would travel the country for, but Ali was one of them. She was pretty much the only person. No one loved him as much as she did and he didn’t love anyone more than he loved her. Once before he had, with Vivienne, but now there was no one. His heart sped up around Mady as he took a sip of wine, but it was different. He couldn’t love her knowing that she may have done something horrible and wrong and something he would never be able to forget. Or forgive for that matter.

”Stop” he said, finally looking into her eyes. The pain was evident all over his face. ”Mads, I need to ask you something. Someone told me something yesterday and I just can’t believe…” his voice trailed off as he rested his eyes in the palms of his hands. His heart was beating fast, knowing that this would be the only time he could possibly ask the question. He would never have the balls to do it again on another day. ”Did you sleep with Noah? Did you sleep with that bastard?” Johnny didn’t mean for his voice to come out so sharp, but it did. And he was partly sorry. There was no reason for him to raise his voice towards her, and yet there was. She had been lying to him for probably months or years and he had been stupid enough to believe all the lies. ”I need to know. I need to know now so I know if I should defend you or deflect the questions.” his meal was cold, and suddenly, he didn’t care. His blue eyes bore into her and he wanted answers. That was all he wanted.

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