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Post by hkblood on Jan 29, 2012 14:10:22 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] THIS COULD BE THE END OF EVERYTHING The Words: 1500 The Outfit: ORANGE INMATE SUIT The Notes: <3
He could stare at this white, brick wall all he wanted, but he was stuck here for his own stupidity. He left the person he loved the most, the most important person – to sell drugs for a number he knew was unrealistic, but he wanted to believe that they were being serious. He had never ran into a client that wouldn’t pay what they said they were going to pay and whoever did this to him was the scum of the earth. Of course, as a drug dealer you would think that he should feel more disgusted with himself for what he did, but he didn’t. he had long ago accepted that he wasn’t forcing anyone to take the drugs, they bought them of their own free will and did them on their own. The same went with his princess, he didn’t make her do them, but the guilt of getting her this addicted was all on him. It was the only reason why he felt like he deserved to be here – he did this to her, didn’t he? He was making her change and at one point he thought it was for the better, but now he was unsure. Perhaps she didn’t really want to change from the life she had and he had convinced himself she had. But she came for him, didn’t she? When he was dying and barely upright until he collapsed – she nursed him back to health. She even made him chew the food he couldn’t do himself. That night had been so important, for both of them. He had his last wish granted, at the time, to see her before he finally keeled over and died. She finally said it, she told him she loved him. It made his heart stop with joy and could of possibly died at the moment, but someone above him was looking out for him and giving him another chance.
The truth was that Nolan loved Svetlana more than himself and when he left her, he left her with the thought of protecting and being responsible for her. The money was a good, solid chunk and it would have been enough to pay for her medical bills that were newly required from her overdose and an engagement ring. If his parents were still in his life, they would tell him he was going too fast, but he only could laugh and shake his head at the thought. He wasn’t someone they approved of anyways, they disowned him, and lately he made no effort to try to hear his mother’s warm voice. For once in his life, when he felt failure he didn’t revert back to thinking of them and his sister. No, he was thinking of failing his girlfriend. He didn’t know what happened to her, because she wouldn’t tell him. He was learning Russian, but he didn’t know enough to make out her words. He almost thought he was inept when it came to a new language, but he knew he could do it. Now that he was sitting here, staring at a wall, he could probably use the time to study for it if he was ever going to get out of here. When he got out if here he had things to do, because now he had a plan for this so called life he was living. First, he was going to go straight back to dealing. Second, he would buy her the most gorgeous ring he could fine. Third, he would buy one-way tickets to Russia. Fourth, he would finish his painting of them together for her. Fifth, he would start the dinner for the most romantic night of his life. Sixth, he would get choked up, but he knew he would propose to her with the ring, painting, and the tickets. He hoped she would forgive him and say yes. Seventh, he would deal and sell as many of his paintings and all of his arts as he could to round up money to start for Russia. Then finally, they would leave this disgusting town with two-face pricks who think they know what’s best for their friends.
No one knew Svetlana better than Nolan, he knew it. He knew all about the girl from Russia with a prostitute for a mother. The girl who gave her mother baths and took care of her as much as her mother took care of her – but now that relationship had been destroyed, because of him. He knew about how Svetlana had to help her mother, usually playing the temptation that made the current husband her mother was married to cheat on his wife. Svetlana’s mother would then discover them and then they would have a bloodbath divorce and Svetlana’s mother would come out with money and houses and cars, and Svetlana would get her share for doing her project. He knew about why she slept with that stupid Porter guy, to try to save her best friend, but it backfired. Svetlana was hated and she got pregnant, Nolan had been excited because he believed it was his baby but Svetlana swore up and down that it was not his. When it died, their fight broke them apart. Perhaps what really did it for Nolan knew that he would never be good enough for her to change and admit that she loved him? At that time, he knew just how unsavory and despicable he was. He walked around on streets and he was refusing to deal to survive. He ate food out of trashcans again and at one point he thought of just whoring himself out, but he couldn’t do it for multiple reasons. One, he was in love with Svetlana. Two, he smelt like rotting flesh, garbage, and wet dog. Three, he couldn’t sell himself the way he could sell drugs.
“Bennett, Nolan?” Some cop barked at him and he wandered over to the door. They put him in cuffs and led him out to the back. It was about time that they realized no one was coming for him. This was something he saw on Svetlana’s television, but he thought he was clever enough to never be in this situation. They patted him down, and then stripped him of his clothes. Next they were search him all over to see if he had somehow stuffed drugs up his ass or if he was hiding them in his ears or his nose. It was a ridiculously awkward process, but then they stuck him under a shower and scrubbed him up and down and he was surprised they didn’t shave his hair on him. They pulled out his plugs and his nose piercing and then Nolan truly felt bare. Then he was helped get into proper inmate clothing before being led to his new room. Oh goody, he thought with sarcasm, yet another room. He was put into a room that had a bunk that he was too tall to sleep comfortably, a urinal and a toilet. That was it, he was back to staring at a wall. He was amused that his door had a slot in it and when it came lunch time, it became a little table where he ate his meal in their sight. It was alright as far as food went, frozen peas, instant mash potatoes, a roll of what bread, and some beef covered in brown gravy. They gave him milk, orange juice, and water for liquids. Nolan wasn’t mad enough at the world to deny any part of the meal and he finished it before they collected the tray. Now well fed, he allowed himself to doze off, because what else was there for him to do? He didn’t have anyone to call, it was useless. He hoped Svetlana was alright. Her beautiful face was the last thing he imagined before he succumbed to sleep. He had been worn out, staying up all night and then waiting for her to wake up as if he closed his eyes she would slip away or wake up without him being there. Now he was certain that would happen as he wasn’t going to be going anywhere.
When he woke up, it was to an officer and cuffs. What the hell was it this time? He didn’t bother asking, as he went to the bathroom politely before being led out to the visitor area. He was surprised at the thought? He had a visitor? Who could it have been? Maybe it was the bastard that tricked him and came to make it known he got him. Nolan didn’t enjoy sleazy rats, not even when he had to fight with them for some food. He briefly thought that it would be Svetlana, but he didn’t think she would be out of the hospital yet. They sat him down in the chair and he briefly took in the glass and the phone. Then he saw her, his Russian princess. He picked up the phone, “Hi…. babe…”
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Post by steph2 on Feb 3, 2012 12:45:28 GMT -5
He was in prison...or jail. To Svetlana there wasn't a difference. They were both horrible. And she was stuck in the hospital for what felt like ages and every single time she tried to leave, they'd yell at her and keep her there for longer. They had to literally strap her down at one point and all Svetlana could do was keep crying. She didn't know why she was crying...maybe it was just everything bubbling over, everything she held inside for her entire life that she was just....fed up. She was tired of living the lie of some upper class hottie who could get whatever she wanted. She never needed a life like that; where she had to use her vagina and a devilish grin to get anything out of any man who had power. But she eventually got out, after her mother managed to come around and sign for her to get released into her custody. Her mother had been in the process of getting the divorce during the entire situation. So after being stuck in the hospital, Svetlana was stuck in her mother's home in her old bedroom since Svetlana's place, apparently, was under investigation to see if Nolan needed to spend more time in jail or not. They'd find drugs alright...but his fingerprints wouldn't be on them. Not one hint of his DNA. It would all be her's and she knew she was going to get hell for it if she hadn't already. She spent most of her time sitting in her bay window seat looking outside at the vast back yard. Her room was still white with the pink furniture from when she'd been younger. It still had the pale pink wood head board on her bed with the white butterflies flying across it in lace. The room was fit for a princess but Svetlana felt far from it and her mother could tell. She refused to go anywhere else in the house and refused to eat, refused to talk to anyone on the phone since it was confiscated anyway and instead, she opted for trying to come up with a way to get Nolan out of jail. She managed to patch things up with Charlotte but Porter was a different story. She wouldn't speak to him until further notice. She had told him she loved Nolan....Why couldn't he just believe her? But finally, her mother escorted her to the prison where Nolan was being held since it was heavily guarded and she knew Svetlana wouldn't be able to do anything stupid. It was why now, with her coat hanging on the back of the plastic chair, she sat with her fragile hand clutching the phone like it was her life support. It was why her eyes were rimmed red from the excessive crying she'd been doing, why she looked so pale even in the fluorescent lighting, and why her wrists held thick strap-like bruises from her struggling. When he sat down in front of her, she put her hand up to the glass without hesitation as if she could somehow move right through it and physically touch him. As he spoke, she felt the knot grow in her throat and she was crying again, "I'm so sorry," her voice was hoarse and it cracked as she looked at him. He looked so miserable....and she just wanted to break the damn glass, jump over, and hug him tightly to make sure he was still real. At times, she wondered if she was actually still alive or if this was just her in a coma looking at everything, "I'm going to get you out, okay? I will figure something out to pay the bail and you can come home..." her fingertips gripped the glass a bit as she seemed to cry to him like a child. She felt so weak, vulnerable, horrible...She felt empty and....completely alone, "You'll be home soon...and once you are, you can watch me kick Porter's ass for putting you here..." she was completely distraught and it was obvious she wanted more than to just talk to him through glass and a phone. Of course she did... He was Nolan and she was Svetlana. They were Nolana. And some glass couldn't stop either of them from being together. Hell if heroin and an overdose couldn't stand in their way, jail time couldn't either. outfit
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Post by hkblood on Feb 3, 2012 18:47:15 GMT -5
Time spent apart did not glorify her presence, it didn’t make her glow with an imaginary sunlight as if she was a goddess. They were beaten and broken; in both of their eyes the other looked miserable. It was hard to take the pain and numb it, pretend it wasn’t there and bothering him. He felt so useless, he felt like he was dragging her down. She would insist he wasn’t, that they were fine and everything was beautiful together, but sitting for hours with nothing to do really made him evaluate where they were at in life. Svetlana had a lifestyle and friends that would never like him; it was evidently clear because he was sitting in prison with a probably sentence to a year in jail for selling cocaine and for possession of it as well. He was aware that they were searching for more evidence, for more fines to slap him with. He didn’t think he had anything in the house, what was there was Svetlana’s, but he knew he would get charged for it – it made no difference who held it in their hands or who was using it. He was a criminal, now and forever.
Nolan never met her mother, but he knew in his stomach that she would never approve of him. After all, Nolan was the reason that Svetlana was trying to escape her mother’s lifestyle they built. What mother who gained more status and money with each husband’s divorce would like the man who pulled her reason for all of those divorces away? If she was a sane and logical woman, she would see the good in Nolan, but Nolan knew she didn’t. However Svetlana got here to visit him was a blessing and if it was her mother that drove her, it was their final goodbye. Nolan needed to be strong, for both of them. If he wanted Svetlana to get better and escape this town, he would have to sacrifice himself. Just seeing her pale face and how much he destroyed her put all his optimistic goals and dreams aside. He loved her, he wanted to marry her, and build a better life than what they were living, but realistically with a year of jail time if the bail wasn’t paid in the way, it wouldn’t happen. The only way Nolan knew how to get the money was selling drugs.
He couldn’t expect her to do that and not use the drugs she was supposed to sell. He wanted her to get better for him, because it was what he wanted more than to be out of this cell. Who knew? Maybe they were strong enough to last the year he would get sentenced. He could be in here even less if he was a good convict – obeyed all the rules, do all the chores they gave him, no fights, no out lashes – he could do it. He wasn’t meant for jail, he wasn’t a man in here waiting to fight a veteran. He was here because someone thought they would be saving Svetlana if they put him in here. Perhaps they were, but Nolan wanted to change their minds in any way he knew how. If it meant living here than he would do it – if it meant suffering, missing the woman he cherished, he would suffer and he would do it. He didn’t know how to tell her, as she fell apart in front of him not to try to do something so foolish, to try to find the money, but he couldn’t. What he wanted to say…
“I’m sorry, too, Svetlana – for everything that’s happened to us from start to finish.” He put his hand up to meet hers on the glass, he wanted to hold her. It was pure torture watching her fall apart and cry where he was trapped on the other side of the glass and just had to watch. He put her through so much, how could she love such a monster? “Baby, I love you…. We can get through this. It’ll be just a year and I’ll be out, maybe sooner if I’m good and they pity me. Just get better baby, that’s all I need. I need to know you’re going to get better.” It was hard to smile; it was hard to act strong for her. Maybe there was someone to help them; maybe he could call his parents. He hadn’t seen them and he didn’t think they would do anything, but …. He was a mess: he didn’t know what he wanted at all. A few hours ago he was thinking of everything he would do to make their life better and now he wanted to let her go, he wanted to stay inside this place for some reason.
“Princess…. We should break up. I’m in here until further notice; you need someone stronger to take care of you. I’m not cutting it, I couldn’t stop you from overdosing – you don’t need me, I’m holding you down. If I stay in, baby, I’ll get better and one day I’ll be worth someone. I love you, Svetlana, I love you with every inch of my body…. I don’t think it’s enough anymore…. I don’t think my love is enough for you. I had a game plan; I was going to … make some money…. Then I was going to get you a ring, some tickets for us to run away, and then I was going to propose to you. Then we were going to get married, just us in one of those Las Vegas chapels and run away together… to Russia…. Anywhere you wanted.” He his fingers through his hair and he looked back up at her. He was starting to cry, but he had to do it. Had to let her go, maybe the one who was meant for her was out there. “Looking at you now…. I know… Svetlana, I’m breaking you with you… I’ll love you forever.”
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Post by steph2 on Feb 6, 2012 19:25:24 GMT -5
She could get him out. She would do some work for her mother or maybe even get a job at that strip club that Porter owned. He would be owing her a favor anyway, especially after everything he’d done and it wasn’t like she had two left feet. Ballet was her life so she had the background for the job. If he wouldn’t hire her, she’d find someone that would. Feeling her hands tremble as he finally spoke, she locked her jaw at the realization that there wasn’t going to be a happy ending this time around. The way he was speaking and acting; it just spelled disaster, doom, and gloom. All she wanted to do, at that moment, was hide under a rock and never come out. It wasn’t fair was it? Nothing ever was between them. He was asking her to get better but his words made her cringe and feel even worse than she had upon walking in. Break up? He wanted to break up with her? She felt herself freeze in place as she seemed to digest everything and before she could let out a cry of protest, she felt the warm hand of her mother on her thin shoulder and for the first time in a very long time, she felt like she had an anchor to hold her as she swayed through uncharted and dangerous waters. “It’s okay,” the voice was smooth, seductive, and composed. It sounded like an older version of Svetlana’s before she became the hollowed out shell of a person that was sitting across from Nolan, letting her hand hesitantly slide off the glass and away from his own. The woman was very tall, her dark brown hair cut into a sharp bob around her pixie-like face with the large light brown eyes. She was slender, lean from Pilates and yoga. She wore a cream colored suit with a white blouse and a heavy golden ring that dripped in excessive diamonds. The woman looked powerful and like the spitting image of Svetlana if she continued on the same path as her, “Svetlana, darling, say goodbye. I promise I’ll take care of this and you’ll get better. Go on, wait in the car. Nolan will be just fine,” her accent was as thick as butter as she gave her daughter a stern look and she bit her lower lip like she always did when she hesitated. Looking up at her mother, she looked back at Nolan, feeling a fresh wave of tears come into her eyes. She thought her tear ducts would have dried up by now from how much she’d been crying lately. It was like a never ending gushing waterfall she couldn’t turn off. “Nolan…” she sounded like a child as she clutched the phone to her ear and moved up so she was so close to the glass, her breath made it foggy, “Don’t ever be sorry, okay?” she looked him right in the eyes with all the emotion she thought she never would be capable of showing, “None of it was your fault...I was broken long before I met you. You were just starting to put me back together,” she was speaking with truth and sincerity, trying to make him understand what she was trying to get across, “It’s okay that it’s over…” she bit her lower lip, knowing fully well she had fibbed her way into that one. It wasn’t okay. It would never be okay, “You’ll get out and you’ll be happy, yeah?” she attempted a smile but failed for the most part, way too upset to even force happiness into the picture, “I love you…forever and always…” Leaning in, she placed a kiss on the glass, her chapstick being left behind in the form of a lips. She handed her mother the phone without hesitating, obviously not wanting to hear what he had to say. He said what he wanted, she said what he wanted and that was that. She didn’t look back as she left and once she was passed the second guard at the end of the hallway and her mother was sure she was gone, she looked straight at Nolan, holding the phone up to her ear with determination. “I like you, Nolan Bennett,” her mother said it with authority as she sat down across from him, “You did more for her than I ever could…Despite the hiccup of a heroin addiction,” she spoke bluntly and without fearing hurting his feelings or not, “You are a good man lost in this little wonderland of yours but you showed Svetlana the only thing I didn’t want her to ever be shown and I thank you for that, sincerely,” though it didn’t sound like it, “I didn’t want her getting hurt. It was why I taught her never to get attached to people. I didn’t want her to end up being left alone with a child like I had. Her father ended up in jail, as you are now. She deserves more than having to wait a year only to realize you’ve changed your mind,” she was speaking more out of her own experience than Svetlana’s, “I’m going to pay off your bail and give you the house you two shared. Svetlana is going to be married to someone who can take care of her-a doctor and medical researcher who can grant her citizenship in this country. She cannot return to Russia. There is no future for her or for you there with the way the economy is. I want you to never deal drugs again and to never contact her after this meeting.” Looking into her purse, she pulled out a manila envelope and pen, motioning for a guard to come over, “It is all written in this contract,” she was going to the extreme that this wouldn’t happen to her daughter again. It was a bit pathetic but it was Svetlana’s mother, “I spoke with the judge. If you break the contract, you will be returned to this prison to serve out the full sentencing unless you can pay me back your bail.” Sighing a bit, she looked at Nolan with what could only be described as compassion and possible sympathy, “I know this all seems crazy and like I may not care about her…but I love my daughter. I don’t want to see her heart broken and on a hospital bed because of love. It’s an illusion. It isn’t real. It’s only a disappointment. It would have been nice having you as a son-in-law…making her smile the way I used to see her and glow with joy. But I’d rather lose that then have her six feet under. Sign the contract and you are a free man with a house and a way to start all over again.” outfit
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