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Post by pixie on Dec 19, 2011 22:04:20 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30;] wretched, look at me, i've lost it melting on the table, in parking lots and markets.
falling back onto the couch, pixie sighed loudly, her arm falling over her eyes to block out the sunlight pouring in through the windows in the modest apartment she shared with kory. she growled under her breath and then suddenly flipped on the couch, buried her head under a couple of pillows, and screamed a muffled scream while kicking her feet wildly in anger. when she'd screamed long enough to relieve the tension built up in her chest, she turned back over and sighed tiredly as she stared up at the ceiling. she'd just gotten off the phone with her mother who once again was chiding her for her undying loyalty to kory. they'd been together since freshman year of high school: couldn't her parents just lighten up already? obviously she wasn't going to be dumping him anytime soon. she wished they would just lay off of her. the stress of them constantly picking at her to expand her horizons and to meet new people pissed her off so badly she often bit kory's head off entirely not on purpose. she tried hard not to take it out on him - he was her one ally in all of this, the one person who was going through it all with her - but sometimes she slipped up. then he would get upset with her because it wasn't fair for her to be mad at the one person she could rely on, and she knew he was right. she never meant to hurt him, and she never wanted to.
she truly did love kory, and she had since about a month after they'd started dating. she hadn't told him right away, waiting like a good southern lady for him to say it first. he'd humored her, and she'd responded in kind, and they'd been in love ever since. everything about their relationship was safe and comfortable to her, and she loved that warm, snuggly feeling she got with him. he would pull her into his arms on the couch when they watched movies and he'd let her have those partially popped kernels of popcorn in the bottom of the bowl after the rest was eaten. he was her prince, and she was his princess. one day, she knew, they would be married, but they weren't yet. and her parents loved to remind her of that fact.
'you're not married yet, you can date other people,' her mother would gripe, and she would roll her eyes and debate if she had the strength to hang up on her mother for the first time in her life. her mother was one of those southern women who rules her household and thinks everyone else in the world should have the same opinion she had about everything. pixie often disagreed with her mother, but when she openly told the woman her opinion, her mother waved it off saying she was simply being contrary. true, sometimes she was being contrary for the sake of it, but a lot of times she wasn't. kory was that one big issue where they always butted heads, and pixie resented her mother for always arguing and never accepting. she resented her father for standing quietly in the background and letting her mother run his opinions for him. he was a one star general, dang it, but he couldn't stand up to his own wife. the whole situation just irked her. glancing at the antique wall clock hanging over the television, she decided she had some time to watch some tv before kory got home from his classes. she needed to cool herself off before he walked in and had to face her irritation with her parents. she did not feel like getting in a fight with him tonight.
the primary purpose for her mother's phone call had been to twist her arm into going on some retreat thing in montana for two weeks. pixie had just given in and agreed to go because, well, why not? nothing would change while she was gone. kory would still love her, and she would still love him, and the distance between them would only magnify that. she'd prove to her parents once and for all that she was meant to be with him no matter what they said. before she realized it, she had fallen asleep and was awoken by the front door opening. dazedly, she rubbed her eyes and looked up to see the very man she'd been dreaming of: her beloved boyfriend. smiling up at him, she slid her feet off the couch and rose to wrap her arms around his neck, planting a soft kiss on his luscious lips. "i missed you," she whispered softly as she pulled away and touched her forehead to his. "how was your class?" she released him and walked to the kitchen. hopefully, she could delay telling him she'd agreed to go on the retreat for a little longer. certainly he wouldn't be happy about it, and she hoped tonight could just be a quiet evening without bickering over her parents for once.
words; 849 | tagged; kory | so i got inspired by quinn/sam love xD |
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Post by kory on Dec 21, 2011 19:33:32 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30;] Close enough to start a war , God only knows what we're fighting for
Walking out of his last class of the day he felt glad that he was on his way home. He needed to hug his girlfriend and just feel a bit better for the day. He figured he’d walk through the door give Pixie one of his famous big bear hugs, order some horribly bad for you take out and watch a movie all snuggled up with her on the couch. It was a formula that rarely failed to make him happier. Calculus was kicking his ass and even though he’d always been a smart boy he was beginning to think he and calculus just didn’t mix and even worse he may need to get a tutor. Math in general had never been his strong suit, he excelled more at English and History, but unfortunately Business majors had a lot of math classes. That fact often evoked the urge to stab himself in the head with a spoon, yes, a spoon. The worst part was he didn’t want to admit it to his wonderful girlfriend Pixie because he not only hated admitting defeat, but also he was afraid she’d think less of him.
Kory was beginning to worry more and more about keeping Pixie in his life every time she got off the phone with one of them he was afraid this time they’d done it, this time they’d convinced her to leave him. Maybe it was irrational and never would he ask her to cut off communication with her parents, but he felt like each time they did get into her head a bit. He found himself withholding more and more from her afraid of what she might say or think. Even though he wouldn’t admit it he felt she was withholding more from him as well, there was this divide of sorts between them. Kory still loved her though, but he was afraid she didn’t always feel the same about him anymore. He knew it was hard on her to fight with her parents, it was probably harder for her than it was for him to fight with his father about the very same subject, simply because he was used to his father disapproving of him. His mother had her concerns as well, but she always told him she knew he was a smart kid and wanted him to follow his heart.
The strange thing was his father loved Pixie, seemingly more than his own son, but it seemed as if what he meant by “you’re too young to be so serious” was “you aren’t good enough for that girl” and Kory knew it was true, but he didn’t need someone reminding him of that and besides he was trying to be enough. As he stepped onto the bus he showed his college bus pass to the bus’s driver and with a smile took his seat. For a boy who didn’t often look sad one could tell pretty easily that something was weighing on the boy. He pulled out A Clockwork Orange and began to read it; he loved reading more than almost anything. He’d always loved that about high school English he could always get away with reading in public because he could always say he was reading for class, the only annoying thing was he’d finish the book early and end up rereading it four or five times before the class was over.
Maybe he should become an English teacher; honestly he’d rather do anything than play football for the average career length of 3 1/2 seasons and possibly end up crippled or with some sort of severe brain damage. He was surprised he didn’t have any of that already with how many times he’d be tackled face planting into the not as soft as it looks grass, yet he’d made it out of twelve years’ worth of football with his worst injury being a compound break in his arm the sad thing was it happened the last game of the season so he didn’t get to sit out any games because of it. He’d played through a lot of injuries too though, but that was the only one he would have had what his father and coach considered a good reason to sit out a game. Injury was what he was afraid of with this game, what if he took a really bad blow to the head and couldn’t remember Pixie, his parents, Sav or any of his friends for that matter. What if he didn’t know how to read or speak, what if he became a quadriplegic. He wasn’t willing to take those risks like the other guys on his team for one simple reason, he didn’t love football.
He’d made it back to his humble apartment that he shared with his lovely girlfriend, turning the key he walked into his apartment to be greeted by Pixie with a kiss “mih, I missed you too” he said with a smile as he dropped his backpack before removing his pea coat and hat, as he hung them up he shrugged “it was calculus” he said making it sound better than it was, the rest of his day had gone pretty well anyway, he grabbed her and pulled her into a tight long hug “how do you feel about some take out and a movie?” he said still holding her in his arms.
words 896| tagged; pixie | gosh this is surprisingly long for my current state, I hope that doesn’t mean it sucks lol |
lyric credit; adele |
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Post by pixie on Dec 23, 2011 15:16:25 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30;]wretched, look at me, i've lost it melting on the table, in parking lots and markets. dating for six years meant pixie could recognize certain emotions in kory's face even if he didn't tell her aloud what was bothering him. as soon as he came through the door, she could tell something was getting him down even though the look was quickly replaced with his infectious smile and a hug. the feeling of his strong arms around her wiped away more of her worries than she could admit, and she fell into him gratefully, loving the smell of his cologne that was always on his clothes even when he hadn't sprayed it on recently. for a moment, as he crushed her against him, she pressed her face into his chest and held him. it was times like this when her heart swelled so big she thought it might burst, and she would wonder to herself why she'd never had sex with him. most of the time she knew it was because, even though she was no longer a teenager, she was afraid. she didn't want it to hurt or be awkward or anything, and so she avoided the topic altogether. but now, when he held her protectively in his arms, she knew he was the right one. she was just too afraid to make that first step. so she just held him, wishing she wasn't a chicken and hoping he didn't hate her for it. she didn't want the moment to end. after a while, he loosened his grip just enough so she could look up into his blue eyes and he offered a suggestion about what to do with their evening. she loved how he read her mind.
"i would love that actually," she replied, smiling broadly and reaching up on her tip toes to kiss his nose. all of her worries about her parents, about agreeing to go to montana, about worrying if she should tell him one of her best friends was a nerdy boy they'd both known in high school... all of it melted away as she looked into his eyes. she did all of this for him. she would always love him, even if she didn't say it. and for the moment, she needed to say it. the need to do so rushed up over her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck so she could lift herself slightly to his height. she'd always been significantly shorter than him, but she liked the height difference. it made her feel delightfully feminine. "i love you," she spoke suddenly, "i always will." it seemed random, true, but she needed to say it. no matter what happened - her agreeing to go to montana and the constant fight with their parents - she would always love him. she kissed him once more on the lips and then shyly released him to walk into the kitchen. she fixed herself a glass of water and retrieved a beer from the refrigerator for him and returned to the living room, handing him the bottle.
"so, calculus, you say? i've always hated calculus," she commented, plopping herself down on the sofa and pulling the take out menus out of the basket she kept them nicely organized in. she flipped through them and then offered him a look, entreating him to choose what he was in the mood for. "chinese or pizza?" she had to admit she wanted something preferably fattening and greasy to make her feel better after the argument with her mother. she loved horribly unhealthy food when she was feeling down. words; 586 | tagged; kory | hee hee it was great! sorry if mine sucked 8O |
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Post by kory on Jan 4, 2012 18:14:52 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30;]Close enough to start a war , God only knows what we're fighting for
Okay, so maybe he couldn’t hide everything from her, but he was hoping he was doing a good job at concealing his woeful feelings, but he could tell from Pixie’s reaction to him, just little things that he hadn’t done the best job of it, but he wasn’t going to just give up the act – that would require him to express feelings. Squeezing her tightly in his arms he felt better, it was sad how comforting it was to have a tiny girl in your arms, even if he was constantly aware of how tight he was holding on in fear that his Neanderthal brute strength would snap her thin frame in half. Not many guys thought of themselves that way, but in all honesty even though he always did fairly well in school he didn’t think he was that smart. Even if the sheer face that he knew what a Neanderthal was made him smarter than one, let alone what anthology says their behavior would be like.
The two of them were intimate with each other, but for some reason they’d never taken the next step. It wasn’t that they didn’t love each other it was that he could feel she wasn’t ready and yes, sometimes it made him wonder if she wasn’t in love with him the way he was with her, but he also knew it was different for a girl, he’d actually done quite a bit of research on the subject to see if when the time came he could make it easier on her. Though, the only real advice he’d found was be gentle and take it slow which he could have come up with himself. However what was ever stranger than her not wanting to do it was that he didn’t mind, he was fine with waiting for the simple fact that if she was comfortable, he would be too. It’d be the magical moment that every girl dreams of and he wanted her to have that. Even if it meant he had to take a cold shower every once and a while.
A smile spread across his lips as she agreed to his plan and kissed his nose, just as it had begun to fade she told him she loved him and always would and it was back like a shot “I love you too, ‘til the end of days” it wasn’t necessarily a plausible promise, but it was how he felt now and everyone always said even if you didn’t end up with them you’d always love your first love on some level, he wasn’t sure how true that was or how fair it was to whoever you’d end up with, but right now he felt he’d marry Pixie someday and they’d have pretty blonde babies… that would hopefully inherit her mouth. He mostly hoped that so that his children wouldn’t be teased about it like he was. He took the beer from Pixie with a smile “thank you” he followed her and sat down next to her, “I looked at Jeremy Kirkland’s “business math” homework, do you Jeremy from high school? Well it looked like something a two year old could ace and I’m in calculus?” he sighed a slightly defeated sigh as he shook his head “but it’s not a problem I’m doing good so, it doesn’t really matter” he wasn’t quite lying, he wasn’t failing he just could easily fall below the grade he needed to move on to part two.
Mulling over her question for a moment and he tugged on a chunk of his hair repeatedly as he often did, it was a strange quirk of his “I could go for some General Tso’s chicken… or a barbecue chicken pizza” he said suddenly before turning to her saying “so I pretty flexible really, what does the best girlfriend in the world want?”. Suddenly a thought washed over him causing his to squeeze his eyes shut “oh gosh, I’m such a dick” he said smacking his hand to his face “I haven’t even ask how was your day was, I am honestly, hands down, the worst boyfriend ever” he said putting his forehead to her shoulder “ oh gosh please forgive me I’m such a dolt, how was your day, tell me all about it, I want to know everything, what soap did you use this morning, everything and anything” he said resting his chin on her shoulder so her could look at her and smile apologetically “I’m so sorry” he said giving her a kiss on the cheek. He never wanted to be that guy even for a second, he felt like a horrible ass hat.
words 779| tagged; pixie | oh no it was lovely i just meant because i was sick and foggy headed haha | lyric credit; adele |
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Post by pixie on Jan 17, 2012 9:18:03 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30;]wretched, look at me, i've lost it melting on the table, in parking lots and markets. after having been together for as long as they had, one would believe they would grow tired of one another by now, but when pixie looked into his blue eyes and heard his sweet, manly voice, she couldn't help but smile and realize how very much in love with him she was. it did amuse her, however, that after all this time she felt nervous and shy to admit to him just how much she loved him. obviously he knew she did, he just didn't know the width and depth of her emotions. they just didn't have those kinds of conversations where you sit around debating who loves who more. she had never wanted their affections to be a competition like some couples. she could hear the grating voices in her head now of some of the young people around their high school: "i love YOU more" "no, i love YOU more" "i love you most" "no, i love YOU most" ugh. but as kory told her he would love her until the end of days, she didn't care about any of that. instead, her face burst into a brilliant smile and she squeezed his arms gently with her fingers. she was the type of person who had the tendency to show her emotions with her body language or with a facial expression before she would put words to it. everything just seemed more significant that way instead of cheapening a moment with words that she didn't feel were powerful enough to express herself.
"of course you're doing well," she added after he explained to her a bit of what had plagued him over the day. she'd never been a math-minded person - she preferred reading and writing to equations - but the subject managed to fascinate her when kory talked about it. she placed herself with him on the couch and handed him the menu for the nearby chinese restaurant as he admitted he could go for some general tso's chicken or barbeque chicken pizza. her nose wrinkled in a grin as he called her the best girlfriend in the world. "well, you mentioned general tso, and you know he's my favorite military man," she joked, setting the pizza delivery menu aside.
when he berated himself, she jumped slightly in surprise before settling herself once more. she shook her head and smiled, saying she understood without actually speaking the words. she didn't know how to tell him what had happened in her day, partly because she knew he'd be upset she'd agreed to go on the retreat, and partly because she just didn't know why she had done so. if she told him, she would be obligated to explain herself, and she didn't know if he would understand she was doing it all for them. so, as she handed him the phone to call the chinese delivery, she figured she'd just say it all at once and get it over with. the faster the better, right?
"oh, i didn't do much today. talked to my mom, agreed to go to montana so they couldn't say we can't be apart from one another more than a few hours, and that was it," she spewed, offering a shy smile at the end in dread. "no biggie." she offered a small shrug along with the words. surely this would be good for them: to prove to her parents once and for all how things should be. words; 574 | tagged; kory | i am soooo sorry it took me forever to reply! but they're so adorable! <3 |
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Post by kory on Jan 23, 2012 16:05:05 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30;]Close enough to start a war , God only knows what we're fighting for
One wouldn’t necessarily guess it from his impeccable ability to body slam a man twice his size, but Kory had a gentle soul. He believed that your first love would always be in your heart and that you’d always love them. Whether or not you move on from them is a whole other story. Kory didn’t lie to Pixie if he could help it and he knew he would love her for always. What he wasn’t sure of was if he’d ever love someone else. First loves were tricky like that, some worked, some didn’t and everyone thought theirs would be one of the ones that stood the test of time. Kory was no exception to that rule, he believed someday he and Pixie would get married and have wonderful toe head children and the picturesque white fence if Pixie wanted it. At this point is his life he would do anything for his girlfriend. More importantly he’d do anything to keep her, why he felt like she was slipping away he wasn’t sure, but lately it was there – always.
And there it was he’d lied to her about doing well in calculus, but it was a little white lie in his mind he didn’t want her to worry about him. If he was being honest though he’d acknowledge the fact that it was a self-serving lie, he didn’t want her to think less of him or be disappointed in him; as dumb as that sounded, even to him. A smile graced his lips as she told her joke, he liked when she said dorky things because it made him more comfortable in his own dorky nature “egg rolls too please, sensei” he said in a slightly offensive Chinese accent as he put his palms together and bowed his head to her. Mimicking other countries could easily be taken to offense, but it wasn’t like he was trying to offend the Chinese people, he’d never intentionally do that.
Maybe most boyfriends wouldn’t be so hard on themselves, but Kory was raised with a strong southern woman for a mother and she would never let her son feel okay about being a self-centered dick by not asking his girlfriend about her day. He waited patiently for her answer, thankfully Pixie wouldn’t punish him like his mother did talking about menstrual pains, to her it was always a humorous way of punishing her son, but it was mortifying to him. No boy wants to hear about his mother’s period no matter how close he was to her. Taking the phone being offered to him he didn’t take his eyes off the girl, he wanted her to know she had his full attention. His eyes fell on the phone as he punched in the numbers of the Chinese resteraunt though he wouldn’t press the call button until she finished filling him in on the day.
He nodded as she said she spoke to her mother, it wasn’t a strange or occasional thing. Pixie’s parents were protective and tended to call their daughter a lot to check up on her. Though, her next word caused his head to raise slowly so his crystal blue eyes could fall on her “wait you did what?” he asked, he wasn’t angry yet, just simply confused by her words. “no biggie?” he repeated his voice raising in pitch a bit, his brows were knitted together more sad and confused than furious. “but, you didn’t even talk to me about it” he said a bit hurt, though his anger was beginning to build. Granted, he wasn’t angry because he thought she needed his permission, he just would have liked for them to talk about it so he could feel more comfortable about it. This way he just felt like she went behind his back.
words 635| tagged; pixie | oh, poor kory so insecure, i'm sorry about the wait on this one | lyric credit; adele |
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Post by pixie on Jan 31, 2012 17:31:45 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30;]wretched, look at me, i've lost it melting on the table, in parking lots and markets. the moment the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. she saw the look of shock, followed by hurt, come into kory's eyes, and she hated herself. she'd seen that look a few times before, and almost everytime she could remember, it was due to her parents doing or saying something. they'd always assured her that they liked kory, they just claimed they didn't like how serious the two of them were for how young and inexperienced they were with love. she despised the mindset and disagreed openly with them about it, but it never made any difference. maybe going to montana would prove to them that she knew what she wanted, once and for all. but as she saw those eyes staring at her, so full of pain, she knew kory didn't understand, or at the very least he didn't understand why she wouldn't tell him what she'd been thinking until the deed was done. their chinese take-out was instantly forgotten by both, and she bit her bottom lip in anguish as she turned to face him. "i'm sorry! it was so fast, and i just thought... i just thought that maybe if i go and come back and i still show them how much i love you, they'll finally figure it out and leave us alone," she apologized, her words spilling out almost as quickly as they had when she'd first admitted she was going to montana.
grabbing his face gently with her hands, she tried to pull his gaze to hers and she smiled slightly at him before the smile faded as she continued to see the pain in his eyes. "i'm telling you now. i didn't want to keep it from you, and if i'd known earlier, i would've told you then, i promise." she'd never lied to him before, and she didn't feel that she was lying to him now. even when it came to dexter, she never lied to him about the fact that her best friend was a guy, the topic never came up in conversation. that wasn't lying was it? she didn't know anymore. she was so confused by everything going on in her life, she didn't know what she was saying or doing sometimes. it was all so very exhausting. pulling her hands back to her lap and folding them over one another, she looked down at her knees where she sat on the couch and sighed, trying not to cry. she needed to be strong now so he would know there was nothing to worry about.
"if i go to montana, and then when i come back, we're just as much in love as we are now, then they'll finally know that nothing can come between us," she explained in a small voice. looking up at his light blue eyes, her heart melted at the sight of him. leaning toward him, she kissed his lips lightly and hoped beyond hope he wasn't mad at her. words; 497 | tagged; kory | i am so slow, sorry this reply took so long! |
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Post by kory on Feb 12, 2012 13:38:15 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30;]Close enough to start a war , God only knows what we're fighting for
No, Kory was not happy, how could he be. After all of the fights he had with his own father about their relationship, he know felt he was the only one who wanted them to work – even if he knew that was irrational and stupid. Honestly though, he couldn’t understand why Pixie wouldn’t just stand up to her parents, he’s fought his own father tooth and nail about their relationship, in fact it was the only thing he’s ever openly fought with his father about. He hated football, but it was the only time his father didn’t call him a failure, so he continued so he could have that small bit of pride from his father. Finally he turned away from her, his hurt was turning into anger. “yeah and what if all it does is prove them right!” his voice was cold and angry. One could easily confuse Kory’s self-consciousness as distrust in his girlfriend, but it had nothing to do with not trusting her. It had to do with what he expected from her. He knew she was too good for him, that he was more than lucky to have her and yet he’d gotten lucky.
He had her and now he wanted to keep her. How could he do that when she was presented with someone who was better than him? It wasn’t distrust, no, it’s what he would do in her position. Kory would never stay with himself, he wasn’t special enough, not honest enough. Hell, there were things about him she didn’t know – that he hadn’t told her in irrational fear of what she would think. Like his dreams, what he wanted when all was said and done. Pulling his face away from her hands he glared at her with gentle malice, an oxymoron or emotion no doubt “really, would you?” he was so cold he breathed fire with his disbelief. This was the beginning of the end in his mind and as unattractive as he knew lack of confidence was, his was likely showing in spades. Though, maybe his anger was hiding it, that’s how he’d been brought up to deal with things – anger. And so he would, he’d be angry at her for his own lack of faith, not in their relationship, but in his own worth.
This was the end, he could feel it.
She’d go away an come back someone else, with someone else. He couldn’t allow her to kiss him, so yet again he pulled away from her affection, he needed to distance himself from it now – before it was gone. He was so sure, it was painful. Again he knew he was being stupid and yet he couldn’t stop himself form indulging the stupidity of his own mind. Just another flaw he wouldn’t put up with if he were her. “And what if that’s not the way this plays out? What if you realize there’s not the same love there anymore? It’s possible isn’t it?” he shook his head and yet again turned away from her as he began to pace “If there wasn’t you would have told me you were considering saying yes to your parents suggestion” now that was a perfectly logical statement. Maybe he should try doing some calculus now as it seemed his idiotic mind was beginning to think like a rational human being, not a creative one that made up stories to confuse him.
words 570 | tagged; pixie | it's no problem, i'm sorry I made you wait so long | lyric credit; adele |
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