USED TO THINK IT WAS EASY

[PORTER MIDDLETON]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 600px; background: #e3e3e3; border: 2px dotted #ffffff;,true][cs=2]   He's gonna give up the booze and the one night stands And then he'll settle down It's a quiet little town And forget about everything But you know he'll always keep movin' You know he's never gonna stop movin' 'Cause he's rollin' He's the rolling stone forget about everything

[atrb=width,120] tag: charlotte, svetlana, and wedding party words: 1336 notes: let the drama commence! credit: eliza @ sp

[atrb=width,250] straightening his suit jacket, porter examined himself in the mirror and took a deep breath. his ice blue eyes were emptier than usual, he thought to himself as he watched his reflection staring morosely back at him. he felt the sudden desire to punch his reflection, and on an impulse, he did just that. cursing as the pain blossomed in his hand and the mirror splintered, he shook his hand and shook his head at his foolishness. he was too impetuous and childish. that was why he was in this mess to begin with. he'd intended to get charlotte out of his mind, and all he'd managed to do was entrench her even deeper. plus, he'd actually become ashamed of himself for the first time in his life. even when his father had taken the sex tape of him and posted it for the world to see, he hadn't been ashamed for himself but he'd been angry with his father. now, he knew what he'd done was wrong, and he didn't know how to fix it. so, over the night, he'd invented a half-brained plan he hoped would work. he would just walk right up to his father and charlotte's mother and tell them the engagement wasn't going to work: that charlotte deserved something real and not this sham. even as he thought of this plan, however, he felt that now-familiar pang in his gut and he shut his eyes against it. fumbling into the cabinets beneath the mirror, he fished out a bandage and wrapped his bleeding knuckles with the fabric. even though he knew sleeping with svetlana had been a bad idea - after the fact when he was sober enough to remember what he'd done - he couldn't admit to himself the full extent of his emotions. he'd never been good with that type of thing anyway. now that he was feeling something he'd never believed existed, he couldn't handle it. he hadn't gotten drunk since the night he'd slept with svetlana, but he'd avoided the apartment he shared with charlotte like the plague. he couldn't face her. he'd originally done it to get back at her for making him feel something, but it had backfired on him. after the deed was done, he couldn't hate her; he could only hate himself. walking out into the hallway outside his hotel room, he glanced up at his butler who'd come to escort him to the engagement party. the old man nodded and smiled slightly, turning to walk obediently behind his master's son, but porter stopped suddenly. turning to look into thurston's eyes, he reached out and took the man's hand and clenched it gratefully. honesty filled his eyes and he choked on the words he'd meant to say. he felt like a man walking to the chopping block, and he was at a loss for how to act. the butler shook his hand and smiled knowingly but didn't speak. he could read porter better than anyone, and he knew the young man was facing a maelstrom of emotions as he walked to his engagement party. releasing the man's hand, porter turned and walked hastily out of the hotel and into the car which awaited him. he was thankful he had a separate car to arrive to the party in apart from charlotte. he couldn't see her yet. if he waited until they were surrounded by people, he thought he could bear to look her in the face. he was accustomed to acting like everything was fine in front of the public. their entire engagement had been like that, so it wouldn't be any different. he hardly noticed the car stopping at the sidewalk behind the fine restaurant his father had rented out in honor of his son's engagement party. as the door opened and the doorman urged him outward, he apologized for daydreaming and slipped out of the car and into the restaurant. almost instantly, he was assaulted with the images of the party and the people who were there to congratulate him. however, his father very quickly gathered him, pushing the guests away from his son as he ushered them into the kitchen. andrew smiled at the guests, but porter saw the seething irritation behind his ice blue eyes and he knew he was about to receive an earful. as they entered the kitchen, andrew practically threw him against a nearby refrigerator, his bulk aiding him as porter was already half-dazed when he'd entered the building. "what are you thinking arriving before your fiancee? that sort of behavior doesn't look good for the press, son." he spat the word as if it tasted horrible on his tongue, and porter realized he couldn't do what he'd come to do. he couldn't stand up to his father. he felt broken and whipped like some sort of starved racing dog begging for a small morsel to survive. the anger in his father's face cowed him, and he closed his eyes against it, sucking in a deep breath to calm himself. "i didn't mean anything by it. i'll... i'll stay back here until charlotte gets here.... i'm sorry...dad," he last word was whispered more than heard, and andrew nodded in agreement. "you're damn right you're going to stay back here until she gets here. i have half a mind to make you wait outside so you can enter together, but everyone's already seen you," andrew rambled, thinking aloud to himself more than talking to his son. porter watched him silently and absentmindedly ran his fingers over the bandage on his right hand which was already turned a light shade of red from the blood of the wound. he was an idiot. charlotte didn't deserve him or his family, but he couldn't do a damn thing about it. "father... i have something i need to say..." he began, managing the words with great effort. andrew wheeled an angry eye on him and planted his hands on his hips, instantly becoming the imposing figure porter had feared his whole life. before porter could continue however, clapping and voices outside stopped him just as a server entered the kitchen in a hurry. "sir! she's here. the bride has arrived." andrew nodded and roughly grabbed his son's elbow, steering him toward the entrance to the restaurant. "whatever you need to say can wait. get out there and make your future wife happy." he practically threw porter through the door into the restaurant, and porter tried not to stumble as he entered the main room. at the door, he saw ophelia, charlotte's mother, entering and he knew charlotte would be next. she was the grand attraction, even more so than himself, and all of the magazines and tabloids wanted to know what she was wearing and how she was feeling and all of the gritty, stupid little details of their sham engagement. slipping through the crowd relatively unnoticed, porter arrived at the entrance just as charlotte slipped out of the car and into the light shining from the doorway. the instant he saw her, his breath caught in his throat and he thought he may pass out. he had been away from her too long. while he'd originally believed the distance would help him to stop feeling whatever it was he was feeling, it had done the opposite. he was stunned by her beauty and silenced by her presence. the shame he felt over his actions washed over him, but he managed a smile and reached out to wrap her arm through his elbow as he escorted her inside. over the crowd he could see his father nodding and smiling approvingly, and porter offered his winningest smile for the paparazzi. self-consciously, he leaned over to whisper in her ear so only she could hear, "you look beautiful tonight." he kept his eyes off of her so he could bear to stand next to her, but he meant the compliment wholeheartedly. she was stunning, and he didn't deserve her. he never would.

[CHARLOTTE HIRTH]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] click for outfit - and i cannot wait for this thread and drama to go down. Examining herself in the mirror, she suddenly felt so self-conscious. Her hands drifted towards her stomach and she wondered if she was too pudgy for Porter and he had left in the middle of the night because she wasn’t pretty. No, that was just her insecurities talking. He most likely had gotten a phone call from his father, ordering him to do something silly and she sighed. Yes, that was what she was going to believe. But those thoughts didn’t stop her from sucking in her stomach as her mother entered the bedroom. Ophelia looked positively gorgeous in her strapless black dress, but the frown that was tugging at her lips was not positively gorgeous. In fact, it was slightly repulsive and scary, and Charlotte did not feel any better seeing her mother’s face twist up like that. Her mother’s eyebrows then tilted towards the age and stress lines on her forehead and that was when the brunette knew something was wrong. Ophelia never looked so serious about something. Charlotte sucked in her stomach some more, wondering if her mother could see or smell the onion bagel she had eaten a couple of hours ago. Ophelia’s face transformed into a smile as she looked at her daughter ”Your look gorgeous, darling” Um, what? Charlotte felt her mouth open and shut like a goldfish and her mother rolled her eyes. ”Close your mouth; you look like a fish out of water.” The mouth shut a moment later as her mother regained her spunk. But Charlotte let out a breath, her stomach touching the silk fabric now. Her mother never said something nice, never said what she really thought, usually she just insulted everyone. Now, Charlotte knew she had the upper hand, that Porter would soon regret leaving. Her eyes drifted shut. He chose to leave; it wasn’t like she had pushed him away. He had wanted to leave her, had wanted to disappear into the dark. Who was she to tell him what to do? Just because she was his fiancé did not mean that she had complete control over him. He did not love her. She did not love him. But the thought felt so wrong, it felt like such a lie, that she couldn’t even swallow. No, she couldn’t love someone that did not love her back that was not how hearts worked. Hearts listened to the mind, or that was what Charlotte was telling herself anyways. Glancing at the doorway her mother had just exited and another sigh escaped her lips. Life was not fair. Her maid stuck her head into the bedroom and ushered her out the doors, claiming that she could not be late for her own engagement party. Yes, yes she could, but no one needed to know that. She and Porter were supposed to arrive together, arriving separately would be bad for the public. Apparently, her mother had other plans as she ushered her daughter into the car waiting outside before yelling at the paparazzi that was flashing their cameras. A feeling that she had never had before formed in the pit of her stomach; it was nerves. Charlotte never got nervous, yet here she was, panicking. Panicking over what, she had no idea. She was pretty enough, somewhat confident enough, smart enough, yet her stomach was clenching. This was not a good start to the evening. The car ride was longer than most, considering Andrew had picked a place in the middle of nowhere for the group. It was for security more than anything else, but it bothered her. Even her own engagement party was planned by someone other than her. Would her wedding be controlled next? Most likely, her mother had already requested specific designers to create the wedding dress. It just had to be one of a kind. It couldn’t be something that just anyone could have, it would defeat the uniqueness. Ophelia grasped her daughter’s hand, suddenly making the car seem to close in on her. Now would be the time where Ophelia would make the cliché speech that Charlotte would ignore and pretend to care. Her mother was a horrid person, but she was even worse. Deep down, she knew that Porter didn’t want her because of who she really was. She was not perfect, was not nice enough, and it killed her inside. ”Thank you for going along with this engagement. I know it was not the easiest thing for you, darling,” Ophelia began in her sickly sweet voice. Just the voice made Charlotte feel nauseas and she closed her eyes. Her mother was the bad guy, and here she was, trying to redeem herself. It didn’t work like that. There was no time machine to make up for all the bad things she had done and would do in the near future. Oh, but how Charlotte wished there was a time machine just lying around. Perhaps if she had the time machine, she would be able to find the real reason why he left. He had initiated the kiss, the sex, the emotions and he had just left. He was like every other man; he took and took and took but never gave back. She just wanted her prince charming, but apparently, those princes only lived in Disney movies and fairytale stories. Ophelia’s voice rambled in the background as Charlotte felt the car slow down. The restaurant came into view and she sighed, resting her forehead against the cool window. This was not what she wanted, but it was. She wanted Porter, but not this way. She wanted the Porter who was vulnerable and true and the one who had made love to her and not just sex. The only bruise he had given her was the one on her heart. A tall dark and super manly figure appeared, and she squinted her eyes. Nope, she couldn’t make out the figure. Ophelia let out a squeal and exited the car first, waving to the photographers that surrounded the entrance. Andrew or Ophelia had most likely tipped off the magazines and newspapers about the party, because there were just too many people. The lights began to blind her sight and she was sure that she was going to fall until a strong hand wrapped around her petite waist. While she couldn’t see the person right away, she knew that strength and hand from anywhere. The groom was here. All she wanted to say was she would love you, I love you forever. But that would be too rash, too unusual for her. Instead, she allowed her eyes to adjust to the bright flashes before turning and looking at the tall dark and beautiful man next to her. Something in his deep blue eyes had her thinking that maybe he wasn’t as bad as his reputation said, that maybe he could love her. He was tall, dark, beautiful, irrational and complicated, everything she hated and wanted in a man, but she couldn’t let him go. Her heart soared when she heard his compliment and she let her stomach out just a little. Maybe she wasn’t chubby after all. ”You clean up well too,” she whispered back as she smiled for the photographers. Moments later, the couple was led inside and Charlotte smiled, happy to be out of the spotlight. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her lips grazed his cheek. ”I’ve missed you” her voice whispered and she gave him a shy smile. She had missed him. It had been terribly cold and lonely and quiet in the penthouse and she had just wanted him. Charlotte removed her arms from around his neck when she realized that he wasn’t hugging her back. ”Is everything alright? You haven’t been coming home and you’re avoiding me. Porter, just tell me.” her demanding voice appeared suddenly and she followed his gaze to a familiar brunette who was standing a little away. ”SEVVIE! Darling!” she called, motioning her hand to her friend.

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[PORTER MIDDLETON]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 600px; background: #e3e3e3; border: 2px dotted #ffffff;,true][cs=2]   He's gonna give up the booze and the one night stands And then he'll settle down It's a quiet little town And forget about everything But you know he'll always keep movin' You know he's never gonna stop movin' 'Cause he's rollin' He's the rolling stone forget about everything

[atrb=width,120] tag: charlotte, svetlana, and wedding party words: 715 notes: hope i didn't lead too much x) credit: eliza @ sp

[atrb=width,250] as he held her with his arm around her petite waist, porter felt her in more ways than one. after so long a time away from her, her presence next to him was a tangible, emotional thing he wasn't used to. everything had happened between them felt so much more significant to him now, and everything that had happened in meantime felt like a lead weight in his stomach. despite all of the craziness bouncing around inside his head, he smiled for the cameras and took charlotte's hand in his own as they entered the restaurant. surprisingly, the press stayed back from them, taking pictures of the wedding party and their parents and they had a moment alone. suddenly, charlotte turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his mouth down onto hers. the kiss was such a surprise and so sweet, he felt his knees go weak and he encircled his arms around her back to pull her close to him. even as he felt like a dirtbag, knowing all he'd done since he'd seen her last, he revelled in the kiss. he was like a prisoner getting something good he didn't deserve, but he soaked it up anyway. in a way, he knew the kiss was desperate as if he was kissing her for the last time. she broke the kiss and he blinked dazedly, hearing her voice quiet and sweet whisper to him, "i've missed you." looking deeply into her brown eyes, he didn't get the chance to respond before she worriedly began asking him what was wrong and where he'd been the last several days. his heart fell from his chest and he closed his eyes as he subconsciously put some space between them. opening his eyes, he looked at her with a haunted look in his ice blue eyes. "charlotte, i..." he trailed off as he noticed a movement over her shoulder. glancing up, his face went pale as he recognized the figure as her friend svetlana. charlotte, noticing his gaze, turned and noticed her friend, instantly gushing over the other girl happily. porter's face, however, transformed into a mask of anger and silence as he watched svetlana hugging her best friend. so this was the plan. she caught him when his defenses were down, and although he had felt she had gotten some sort of forgetful abandon out of their encounter just as he had, he suspected she'd also had an ulterior motive. he didn't know much about the girl, but he did know - now that he was no longer drunk and could think clearly - that many people thought of her as a maneater. perhaps she had been using her skills against him for some purpose. however, the thought dropped from his mind as he watched charlotte's reaction to her. anything svetlana had been planning was on her own, he knew charlotte had taken no part in it. now he just had to hope she would keep her mouth shut about what happened between them so he could move on. moving toward the two girls, porter offered svetlana an empty smile and gently grabbed charlotte around her waist to steer her slightly away from her friend as he came between them. "svetlana, how nice to see you. could i have a word about... the wedding surprise we're planning that charlotte can't know anything about?" he asked, offering charlotte a hasty smile to keep up the act as he gripped svetlana's elbow and led her away from his fiancee. moving to a hallway running down the far side of the building where servers could come and go without being seen by the upper crust who dined in the establishment, porter roughly released her and glared at her with his cold, blue eyes. "i certainly hope you haven't come here intended to tell charlotte the unfortunate meeting we had the other night on the beach," he hissed in a low voice. "things would turn out very badly for you if you did..." the threat was clear: porter's family had enough money to make her disappear if he wanted it. plus, if his father found out there was anything out there which could jeopardize his little business endeavor, he would snuff it out before it could get going good.

[steph2]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] CLICK FOR OUTFIT Was the night a mistake? Of course it was. The plan had sounded a lot better in her head before she'd even thought of adding drugs into the equation. She would somehow get Porter alone - hopefully both of them under the influence of something-seduce him but not make the first move, have him sleep with her, and then she'd go crying to Charlotte and proving to her once and for all that all those bad things she thought about Porter were right. He was a good for nothing low life and Charlotte would be free to be with whatever man she wanted instead of being forced with this one. She originally planned on somehow obtaining proof-posisbly videotaping it-to prove to Charlotte's parents that their marriage wouldn't work and she'd use it as blackmail-they either call off the engagement or she would release the video to the press. Svetlana had nothing to lose. Her reputation would remain the same, untarnished since it wasn't the best to begin with. But things had gone from bad to worse. She hadn't managed to obtain proof other than the one growing in her stomach. She hadn't been able to tear herself away from the drugs either, hadn't planned on them entering the equation. She honestly just wanted to save Charlotte from the suffering that was marriage-that all men were cruel and horrible beings with inner motives. She'd seen it eight times in a row with her mother. They all so easily would use Svetlana as their sexual toy and all it blossomed was a secret fear and pure hatred toward all things known as commitment. Why have it when the second your back is turned, they will sleep with anything that has tits and a vagina? Her mother was yelling at her on the phone for missing their brunch date yesterday but Svetlana had been avoiding going home and she'd been avoiding Nolan-the only man she'd give an exception to and even then...she was doubting herself. Hadn't he been the one to initially give her heroin? Hadn't he just fucked her and left her their first meeting? He had to be like all the others. She couldn't bring herself to admit she was honestly in love with the guy. He didn't belong in her world just as she didn't belong in his. She hung up her phone as she slowly got out of the car, forcing down the nausea that wanted to come up in her throat. She'd shot up while in the car, a frail hand on the crook of her elbow to hide the pin prick marks that lined her golden skin. She'd put on a bit more makeup than usual to hide her distress, like a porcelain mask, and wore whatever dress she could find and fixed her hair just to look presentable. As she heard her name coming from the last person she wanted to see but knew was necessary, she looked up and gave a faint smile as Charlotte hugged her, "You look gorgeous as always, Charmander," she could feel the cameras going off all around them so she tried to make it seem like she was beyond excited to be there but as she felt Porter grab her, she felt the nausea come back. One dosage of the heroin wasn't working anymore. She needed another one and she wanted this thing in her stomach out of her. She wasn't built to be a mom. Much less the one of Porter's child. She didn't as she was partially dragged into a hallway after giving Charlotte an apologetic smile and as Porter seemed to harass her, she locked her jaw, "I'm not going to tell her anything," she snapped at him, "All I wanted to do was prove that you were no good for her. That she deserves a thousand times better and I end up with the shit end of the stick," her voice was low and she was practically barking at him, as if ready to rip of his head. She put a hand on the wall to steady herself and put a hand on her stomach and took a deep breath. She needed to relax. The hallway was spinning and she felt like the world was going to collapse in on her. She brought her gaze back up to him, "I need you to make me disappear," she said quietly, looking right up at him, "Because if you don't..." but she paused, feeling another wave hit her and she leaned against the wall as she felt her hands trembling. She needed more heroin...she needed another hit and she couldn't do it here. It would be too difficult, "Porter...I'm pregnant," she looked right at him so he could see the fear in her eyes, the complete regret and depression, guilt and shame that had building up within her since the moment the plan had entered her silly little mind. Maybe now he understood the severity of having her disappear-why she figured she was on the worst end of the stick while he had it easy. Everyone expected him to fuck up. Svetlana...was just on the sidelines. "Make me disappear."

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[PORTER MIDDLETON]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 600px; background: #e3e3e3; border: 2px dotted #ffffff;,true][cs=2]   He's gonna give up the booze and the one night stands And then he'll settle down It's a quiet little town And forget about everything But you know he'll always keep movin' You know he's never gonna stop movin' 'Cause he's rollin' He's the rolling stone forget about everything

[atrb=width,120] tag: charlotte, svetlana, and wedding party words: 599 notes: sorry if it's choppy! credit: eliza @ sp

[atrb=width,250] to his surprise, the renowned, hardheaded svetlana didn't fight him as he pulled her to the side. instead, she stumped after him and the look on her face communicated she wasn't feeling too great about the situation herself. but there was something else there besides guilt, unless he was imagining things. she seemed even more made up than usual and thrown together. she definitely wasn't her usual upbeat, snarky self. even as the threatened her, she didn't snap back at him like he'd expected, but she slumped away from him against the wall as if she may pass out at any moment. "well at least we agree on something," he snapped as she confirmed she wasn't going to tell charlotte their unfortunate secret. then she went on to say she'd gotten the shit end of the stick, and he glared at her. how could she think she'd gotten the bad end of things? he was the one still in the engagement, falling in love with the girl who he couldn't tell the truth to because it was something that had happened when he hadn't realized he was in love with her. "what the fuck are you talking about? we're both screwed, no pun intended," he hissed. "it's not like you're any worse off than i am." he didn't understand. was she that selfish? now she was rambling on about wanting to disappear and him helping her to do that and then he heard the words that made his heart stop. "porter...i'm pregnant." suddenly, he felt lightheaded, and he fell back away from her and hit the wall hard with his back. oh shit. this couldn't be... no... he couldn't believe it... he'd been a dumb bastard and he hadn't had any protection because he'd been hammered and not thinking straight in the first place. "shit. you're kidding me, right? why the fuck didn't you warn me before... well, you know?" he asked, his voice sounding as weak as he was feeling. there was no way he could lie himself out of this one. he was bound to marry charlotte in six months, and by then it would be very obvious. hell, considering how thin svetlana was, it would be obvious in two months the way his luck was going. he did not want a kid. he didn't even want to be married. he definitely could not be a father. "what are you going to do about it? are you going to keep it?" he asked, desperation creeping into his voice. he hated the word abortion, it sounded so final and sickening, but he dreaded the consequences if the issue wasn't dealt with. he didn't even know where he stood on the subject of that type of thing anyway, he just knew the idea of fatherhood and trying to explain all of this to charlotte was going to tear him apart. venturing a glance at charlotte, he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. if only they could both disappear. "damn it, svetlana..." he muttered, knowing now why she'd looked so sick since she'd arrived. "if you really want to disappear, i'm sure my father would be more than happy to make that happen, the sick bastard... he'd probably pay for you to move to siberia and never contact us again for that matter. anything to keep his lovely little plan in action." he couldn't help looking at charlotte once more. she was so beautiful and so innocent of the horrors of her best friend and fiance. "you don't have to tell me i'm a bastard. i already know it."

[steph2]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] CLICK FOR OUTFIT "Warn you?" she looked at him like he had five heads, "Yeah. Okay," she rolled her eyes but her sarcasm wasn't as strong as she wanted it to be-wouldn't have the effect she wanted because she sounded pathetic with how sick she was feeling. She came here to tell him and then she wanted the whole disappearing thing to happen. She wanted to poof to Mexico or something without a baby in tow. She wanted it dead. Did that make her a horrible person? She didn't want a child-she never did. She'd end up becoming her mother; using her child to gain status and wealth and prominence. But she couldn't bring herself to say she wanted it dead because deep down...she knew she didn't. It didn't deserve to die though she was sure, with how sick she was feeling, that it must have been dying already. Drugs and alcohol weren't good for babies were they? No, she knew they weren't, "I don't know," she mumbled, unable to say what they both needed to here-that she would get an abortion and be done with it. She could barely face anyone at this point, "You're not," she said quietly, beating herself up for admitting it, "I had it all planned out. I used you...not the other way around, "I wanted to tell you in case...well...if it even survives," which implied many things considering her lifestyle that she didn't entirely want to give up, "so you'd know you had one out there...and if they showed up on your doorstep you wouldn't freak out," she leaned against the wal to sit next to him but not look at him. She could feel herself crying and she hated crying but she couldn't help it. She pulled her long legs up to her chest, "I'll leave in a bit and won't get between you and Charlotte anymore," she bit her lower lip before looking at him, "She's in love with you and I didn't realize it until...after...that you were in love with her too," her eyes wavered, "She doesn't have to know anything. I'll be gone before the end of the night. Just have your dad erase any traces. I don't want to be followed," and he didn't need to know who would follow her. She didn't want her mom or Nolan following her anywhere, "Just please take care of her...I was just trying to protect her...but it just goes to show I'd be the world's shittiest mother," she shrugged and managed to stand up, "Just know...I didn't mean to ruin everything," she looked down at him with all sincerity, "I love Charlotte like she was the sister I never had and would do anything for her...So don't fuck it up. I'll be gone and you'll both get your happy ending...just...don't tell her I'm pregnant," she bit her lower lip. She was trying so hard to stop crying but as she turned around to leave, she saw Charlotte and she suddenly felt her heart drop. She could feel her hands trembling at the realization that she could have, and probably did, hear their entire conversation and by the look on Charlotte's face...she definitely did.

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[CHARLOTTE HIRTH]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] click for outfit - and i cannot wait for this thread and drama to go down. Oh. Her mouth was shaped in the perfect ‘O’ and she looked from her best friend to her fiancé. There were no words to truly describe the emotions that were filling her. Anger, sadness, betrayal…the list could continue for forever and it would never describe all the emotions she was feeling. All she had wanted was to know why her best friend looked upset, and she had found out more than she bargained for. The situation wasn’t her fault, per say, but the signs of the truth were all around her. Porter had stopped coming home, Sevvie had stopped returning all the text messages and phone calls and she had been left in the dark. Revealing a dirty secret was not the surprise, she believed, that Porter and Sevvie wanted to reveal. After all, the two had made it very clear that she was never supposed to know. The only reason she had, in fact, come over to the little pow wow was because Sevvie looked like she was about to collapse and Charlotte had been nervous. There was no way she was going to let her best friend become the topic to talk about the next morning, especially when it was her engagement party. Sure, she was selfish when it came to the topic, but she was getting married in a couple of weeks and her face was to be on the cover of every magazine and newspaper and online gossip magazine. This, however, was not what she wanted. She did not want her face next to words with ‘Betrayal?’ or ‘Pregnancy Scandal?’ no, that would not work. But at this moment, she was sure that that would be all that she remembered about tonight. Her best friend was a lying and backstabbing whore, and her fiancé was a conceited asshole. That pretty much summed everything and everyone in her life up. It was a couple of moments until Sevvie noticed her standing off to the side, and by then, she felt tears gathering in her eyes. This wasn’t fair. So many lies were coming out and she hated liars and lies. Charlotte opened her mouth to say something, but nothing was coming out. All she was doing was gaping at the two of them and feeling her heart break into millions of pieces. After a moment of an awkward silence, she found her voice. ”You’re pregnant?” she whispered, leaning against the wall, looking at her friend. ”With my fiancé’s baby?” Obviously, but the question still seemed to escape her lips. She couldn’t help it; it was everything. Her eyes turned to Porter. ”You slept with my best friend? Are you kidding me? This is why you’ve been avoiding me, isn’t it?” she said, her voice progressively louder. Obviously it was, but she had to ask. She just had to. The answer she was looking for was not what the truth was, she knew that. She looked at Sevvie again. ”You are dead to me. If you wanted to kick Porter out of my life, tell me, don’t just screw him and stab me in the back.”

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[PORTER MIDDLETON]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 600px; background: #e3e3e3; border: 2px dotted #ffffff;,true][cs=2]   He's gonna give up the booze and the one night stands And then he'll settle down It's a quiet little town And forget about everything But you know he'll always keep movin' You know he's never gonna stop movin' 'Cause he's rollin' He's the rolling stone forget about everything

[atrb=width,120] tag: charlotte, svetlana, and wedding party words: 1377 notes: oh goodness, i think my heart just broke T_T credit: eliza @ sp

[atrb=width,250] porter raised an eyebrow and glanced over at svetlana as she sounded like she was doubtful about the child's survival, but he shrugged it off. she'd already made it clear she didn't want the child anymore than he did, so he figured she just meant something along the lines of abortion or because she was feeling so sick. he sat silently as she spoke to him, opening up in a way she never had around him. he'd always been the enemy to charlotte and her friends, and svetlana had once been the president of his haters' club. now, she exposed a softer side of her personality and she admitted this wasn't all his fault. that threw him for a loop, but the next words out of her mouth sent him spinning even faster. She's in love with you and I didn't realize it until...after...that you were in love with her too... porter felt like a humongous cottonball had filled his throat and he was choking on it. svetlana was right, and she'd seen the truth as an outsider faster than he had, and he was right in the thick of the issue. closing his eyes, he bit his bottom lip as the truth about her pregnancy and his impossible situation with charlotte swarmed around him like a mob of killer bees. he was falling deeply in love with charlotte despite his best efforts not to, and he had gone and screwed up any chance of her loving him back by fucking her best friend during some drunken bender. what an idiot, he was. as svetlana explained she hadn't meant to screw everything up and she loved charlotte like a sister, porter looked up at her and nodded. "i know. that's why you've hated me all along because you saw me as the one thing to destroy her... it seems you were right after all..." the last part he murmured more to himself as he looked away from svetlana. just don't tell her i'm pregnant... he glanced up to tell her he had no intentions to do so, and he came face to face with charlotte who looked like she'd just seen her dog get run over. standing quickly to his feet from where he'd slumped down to the floor, he opened his mouth to start some sort of explanation which was sure to be lame, but charlotte began speaking before he could say a word. her voice sounded so heartbroken and angry he felt his own heart breaking just to hear her. you're pregnant? it was a question which should have filled her with joy - the realization her best friend was going to have a child - but instead filled her with horror. with my fiancé's baby? the words stung him and he flinched visibly even though charlotte's voice remained empty as if she'd been drained of her will to care, at least for the time-being. then she turned her brown eyes on him and wrath filled her face like he'd never seen it before. it sent a shiver of dread down his spine; he never wanted her to look at him like that, but now she had nothing but spite and hate in her eyes as she glared at him. You slept with my best friend? Are you kidding me? This is why you’ve been avoiding me, isn’t it? she knew the truth, and he knew he didn't have to answer, but he felt the need to explain himself. it hadn't been entirely intentional... he'd been drunk... he loved her... but how could he explain away his actions when he'd been so hateful to her up until this point? he'd been nothing but an ass, and he knew she wouldn't believe the truth: that he loved her. she knew from the start that he didn't believe in the sentiment; he'd said as much the very first night they'd met by chance circumstances in the darkened hallways of the alibi nightclub. he could never explain to her that she'd been the reason he'd changed his mind about love, especially at a time like this. "it's true, charlotte. it was a mistake, but i didn't know what to tell you..." he trailed off as her voice grew louder and angrier and she spun on her former best friend. he felt even worse as she wrote svetlana out of her life. he'd never been friends with the girl before, but he felt a kindred spirit toward her now, however slight. sure, she'd intentionally deceived him and now they were both in a world of shit because of it, but deep down she'd done it out of love for her friend: however screwed up a way of showing it. admittedly, the plan could have gone well if porter hadn't actually been in love with charlotte, and he knew that, and if charlotte hadn't been in love with him. at least before all of this had happened. realizing now, by the look of hatred in charlotte's eyes as she glared at them both, that he could never have her love, he decided on a hasty plan of action. he would just have to keep up the act he'd been putting on since their engagement that night his father and her mother had spontaneously arrived in town and insisted they marry for money. he would have to hate her. no, he never truly could anymore after all they'd been through. his heart belonged to her and to no one else, but for her good, he would have to convince her he didn't care. she would have to hate him so she could move on and find someone who would be good for her and not some self-centered prick. clenching his hands at his sides to prepare himself for the dreadful lie he was going to have to tell, he steeled himself against the pain and hate in her face as he looked up at her. erasing all of his true emotions from his ice blue eyes, he knew he instantly looked more like his father than he ever had before. he had become the monster he so very muchly dreaded becoming. "don't blame svetlana for this. she didn't instigate anything," he began, his voice steadying as he barreled into what he believed to be a much-needed lie. but what lie is really ever needed? "i was the one who came on to her, and i haven't wanted to see you since. ever since the start i've only been going along with this whole engagement thing so your mother would sell her company to my father, and you know that." inside, he was tearing into a million pieces as the words came out, but this was what he was good at. he was good at breaking hearts. "i've only stayed with you because it would destroy their deal if i left. but... i can't lie to anyone any longer..." it was true, he could no longer lie about the fact that he loved her more than anything in the entire world and more than any man had ever loved a woman before. but he left off the words and let her come to her own conclusions about what he meant. he knew she would think he meant he couldn't lie about hating her any longer, and that was what he wanted her to think even if it broke his soul in two to lie to her so blatantly. if it meant she could move on and be happy, then he would have to sacrifice his own desires. he'd known since he'd first begun to realize he loved her, that he wasn't good enough for her. she deserved sunshine and fairytales not the brothers grimm. by now, most of the party guests had noticed the three along the wall and the cameras had come out. he was certain there would be a billion youtube videos of this exchange put up before he could get out of this hellhole. the whole world would hear his words, his heartlessness, and they would hate him too. well, so be it. he could be the bad guy if that meant charlotte could be spared. he'd be anything she needed him to be.

[CHARLOTTE HIRTH]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] click for outfit Love. There was no way this was love. True love was when the prince didn’t cheat, didn’t lie, and swept the princess off her feet before taking her away and allowing their love to prosper. He couldn’t love her. If he loved her the way she loved him, this situation would have never arose. But he had cheated on her, with her best friend, and it meant he had no idea what love was. Maybe he really didn’t believe in love, and she was a fool for pretending that he cared. It was a twisted version of Romeo and Juliet; she was Romeo, with her heart being torn out and Porter was Juliet, controlling everything but still managing to survive. Ok, maybe not like Romeo and Juliet, but they were a couple that only one person was in love. Her voice was lost in her throat. It felt as though her heart had floated all the way to her throat and was blocking all the meaningful words that were trying to escape. His face broke her heart, if it could be broken even more. Her mind reasoned with her, however, reminding her that this was his fault, that she wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. Charlotte felt tears gathering in her eyes and she knew she had to yell. There was no way she was going to go through the confrontation without yelling and stamping her feet. So many emotions were running through her, and the answers she heard were the ones she did not want to hear. She wanted someone to come out and tell her she was being punked, that everything was made up. But it would not happen, because that would mean everything in her life was perfect. His voice echoed in her mind and she took a step back. No, she didn’t want to hear the answer. It wasn’t fair. She wanted to through a temper tantrum, scream, kick and yell. But people would notice, so she began to let silent tears stream down her face like a waterfall. A mistake. The mistake of a lifetime. Porter did not know what love was. He was never around. He never came home to see the meals she cooked for the two of them, or the movies she hoped they could watch. He didn’t try. He had his own agenda and she could slowly see herself trying to turn the love into hate, but it would never work. All she could think about was the vulnerable man he was when he told her his secrets, his dreams, his ideas. Was she not vulnerable? Was everything an act to him, just a simple game he enjoyed playing? That was what she was beginning to believe, and the fact that she had fallen for him made her feel empty inside. Porter had never wanted her, had never needed her, and just pretended that she meant something to him. Charlotte was sure that she was just a toy. But deep down, she hoped he would admit that he loved her, that he needed her and wanted her. That was all she wanted. A hand covered her mouth and she closed her eyes as his velvet voice crept into her ears and revealed her deepest thought. It was just a game. ”Just shut up!” she screeched, her voice cracking at the end. She could feel hundreds of eyes on her back, but there was no stopping her now. ”I love you. I love you so much it consumes me. Everything I have done has been for you and it’s just a game now? You used me? You made me fall in love with you just so you could tear my heart apart and watched me crumble?” her voice cracked at the end again and she felt her world beginning to collapse. There had never been a solid foundation, and this was what happened because of it. ”I need you to love me, I need you to want me. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough? What have I done wrong?” She didn’t expect an answer, she didn’t even want one. People gasped as the realization of what was happening came across. Charlotte couldn’t deny the truth, couldn’t pretend that what was going on was a lie. Her brown eyes glanced to Sevvie and then the stomach that held the one thing she had never expected. What her best friend-or, ex-did with the child was none of her business. It was the past, and she would just have to get over it. Her heart would never heal. This was too much like the last engagement, when Jason had admitted at a party that he had slept with a stripper and wanted to end the engagement. This was too much like her mother’s last marriage, when her mother and the man had broken up moments before the wedding. Love did not exist. She would leave and Porter would never go and look for her. He would shrug her off like the dozens of girls he had slept with over the years. She was a no one, nothing. She took a step towards Porter until their lips were inches apart. His aroma filled her nose and she felt more tears pour down her cheeks. ”If you want me, you’ll have to find me. But I expect that I disgust you too much for you to ever want me again.” The engagement ring was suddenly off her finger and she dropped it on the ground, the tinkling of the diamond and the ring echoing the area. With that, she did the only thing she could possibly do; run away.

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[PORTER MIDDLETON]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 600px; background: #e3e3e3; border: 2px dotted #ffffff;,true][cs=2]   He's gonna give up the booze and the one night stands And then he'll settle down It's a quiet little town And forget about everything But you know he'll always keep movin' You know he's never gonna stop movin' 'Cause he's rollin' He's the rolling stone forget about everything

[atrb=width,120] tag: charlotte, svetlana, and wedding party words: 594 notes: ok, this probably sucks as an ending, but i tried hahahaha credit: eliza @ sp

[atrb=width,250] I love you. I love you so much it consumes me. Everything I have done has been for you and it’s just a game now? You used me? You made me fall in love with you just so you could tear my heart apart and watched me crumble? I need you to love me, I need you to want me. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough? What have I done wrong? porter was stunned into silence by her words even as she had screamed at him to shut up. she loved him? how could she? he was an ass, and he'd done so many mean things to her on purpose. he was the object of her torment in that he was forced on her when she could be living a happy life with someone she wanted. she'd never wanted him and what he represented, had she? or maybe she had. now he was thoroughly confused, and his face showed it even as charlotte yelled at him. she was so foolish to believe she hadn't been pretty enough or smart enough for him; she was more than he ever could have asked for. porter had been with many women during his rather short life, but none of them held a candle to charlotte. she'd amazed him the first night he'd met her and she'd driven him crazy since they'd been forced into this engagement, and she'd made him fall hopelessly in love with her without batting an eyelash. and he knew he could never deserve her. he was the black sheep son of a father who hated him enough to sell his own son out to the media to destroy his reputation. then he'd used him as a pawn in a game to destroy not only his future, but charlotte's as well, for his own monetary gain. if only andrew had known how succinctly he had destroyed them both by forcing them together. porter's heart would never be the same after seeing the pure pain and hatred on charlotte's face right in this moment. the guests at the engagement party gasped and pointed, surely beginning to gossip about them already, but porter didn't see or hear any of them. all he could see was charlotte, in her beautiful burgundy gown with her hair done perfectly, and her face screwed up in rage at him. he was the enemy now more than ever before, and this time it was all his fault. he opened his mouth to respond to her, but she surprised him as she moved rapidly toward him, her lips almost brushing his. his hand instinctively went for her waist to pull her to him, to crush her into a kiss that would wipe all of the pain away for them both, but he knew he couldn't. If you want me, you’ll have to find me. But I expect that I disgust you too much for you to ever want me again. and then she was gone. rocking backward on his heels as if a blast of galeforce wind had just hit him in the chest, porter stood gaping with his mouth open. she was gone. in the chaos that ensued following her disappearance, with his father hovering over him demanding to know what had happened and charlotte's mother pretending she had no idea what had gone wrong between the two lovebirds, all porter could hear were the words ringing on the inside of his head. I love you so much it consumes me. if she only knew...